The Best Girlfriend You Never Had

by Pam Houston

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Themes

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Chaos and Order

The bustling activity, constant noise, and crowded streets of large cities can be overwhelming, prompting many city residents to move to the countryside for tranquility, surrounded by trees and rivers. However, Lucy takes a different path. She leaves the countryside for the bustling city, explaining that she "couldn't keep separate anymore what was the land and what was me." Ironically, her transition to urban life is an attempt to find order amidst the chaos that her life has become. "I thought there might be order to the city: straight lines, shiny surfaces, and right angles that would give myself back to me, take my work somewhere different, maybe to a safer place," she remarks. Lucy's quest for order is also a quest for balance, a trait she admires in Guinevere and often discusses with Leo. As an adventurous photographer whose work often takes her to perilous locations, Lucy has developed an excessive fondness for fear. By moving to the city, she hopes to stabilize her emotional life.

However, city living turns out to be just as chaotic as life in the countryside. Lucy falls for the wrong man once again, is assaulted by a mugger, is urinated on by a man in a wheelchair, and remains as emotionally adrift as she was before relocating. It is only when she acknowledges her fear to herself and to Leo that she can confront the chaos of her own desires and envision the potential for order in her future.

Self-Esteem

The concept of self-esteem is distinctly American, emerging from a sort of pop-psychological view of identity. Writers, school counselors, and even politicians frequently assert that a deficiency in self-esteem can lead to various issues, such as laziness, aggression, divorce, crime, and poor hygiene. Houston characterizes Lucy as someone whose relationships suffer due to her low self-esteem, a condition that originated during her childhood. The stories and mentions of Lucy's father's cruelty and his neglect in providing young Lucy with needed attention are intended to foreshadow her adult desire to please men, especially those who mistreat her. Lucy's denial of her fear of solitude and her bravery in facing danger disguise her own feelings of inadequacy. By the conclusion of her day with Leo, Lucy gains a profound understanding of herself, finally accepting the person she has struggled so hard not to become.

Romantic Love

Over the past few centuries, the concept of romantic love has become deeply intertwined in Western culture with the notions of marriage and personal fulfillment. Lucy's intense pursuit of romantic love leads her to make poor choices in selecting partners and skews her view of others. Whenever she shares stories or describes people, she consistently zeroes in on whether they are in love or what their romantic prospects might be. For instance, when Leo recounts an incident where a mugger threatened him with a gun, Lucy's thoughts immediately turn to the mugger's girlfriend, pondering what qualities made her fall in love with him.

The story is set in the gardens of the Palace of Fine Arts during a wedding ceremony, and this setting captivates Lucy with visions of finding a husband. In the story's final scene, she even imagines herself "bow[ing] to... [her] imaginary husband" within the gardens. Houston contrasts Lucy's yearning for enduring romantic love with her friendship with Leo. Ironically, this friendship proves to be more lasting and meaningful than any of the romantic entanglements Lucy experiences.

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