Part 1, Chapter 9 Summary

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Cecilia’s first outfit, all black, was too austere and joyless for such an evening. When she looked in the mirror, she saw herself at age eighty-five, so she went back to her room to change. She is feeling relaxed and “self-contained,” as if she had not spent a moment thinking about her appearance. Nevertheless, she feels need to hurry as every minute she spends in her room is less time she is able to spend alone with her brother before everyone else descends upon them. Cecilia rifles through her closet, each dress indicating the passage of time in her life. She settles on a dusty pink dress, lower cut than the black one but suitable for both her mood and the evening. Within fifteen minutes she is headed back down the stairs.

This time as she passes the mirror she sees herself as a fifteen-year-old girl, too innocent for who she is now. In frustration, she returns to her room and undresses. She knows now, and has known all along, that there is only one dress in her wardrobe she really likes, only one dress which is suitable to wear on such an evening after a day of feeling so unsettled. It is a shimmery green backless dress, bought to celebrate the end of finals but never worn. As she puts it on, she feels “sleekly impregnable, slippery and secure,” like a mermaid. Finally Cecilia is content and opens the door of her bedroom, only to be startled by a raised fist directly in front of her eyes.

It is Jackson, about to knock on her door. The twins are in a dilemma, for they are to report downstairs for tea but cannot arrive unless fully dressed—and there is only one pair of socks to be found. The boys are arguing over who gets to wear them, and Cecilia goes with Jackson to help them solve their problem. Jackson tells her Lola will not help because she “hates” them, and Cecilia feels gratified when the young boy slips his hand in hers as they walk toward the boys’ room. The room is a disaster and Cecilia helps restore order to the chaos as the boys watch. They tell her they wish they could go home, but she tells them their parents are both occupied so they must stay here for a while longer. The continue that they wanted badly to be in the play, but that Briony walked off and has not returned. Cecilia is dismayed at having one more person to worry about, but she dismisses the idea and tells them they must forget about the play. The search for socks is fruitless, as her careless Aunt Hermione (the boys' mother) evidently failed to pack more than one spare pair of socks. Cecilia is anxious to go downstairs on this gorgeous summer night, a perfect evening for sipping drinks on the terrace with her brother; so she finds two pairs of the least feminine socks she can find in Briony’s drawers and the twins are content. After Cecilia helps the boys brush their hair and become generally presentable, she finally walks down the stairs.

Her mood has shifted since she helped the boys and now she is overwhelmed with the conviction that she must get away. Downstairs a tangle of small tragedies await her, and she knows that, as always, the success of this evening would rest primarily on her shoulders. When she steps into the kitchen she meets her first crisis. Her mother, Emily, is changing the evening’s menu and the entire kitchen is in chaos. Emily appeals...

(This entire section contains 1109 words.)

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to Cecilia, as always, and the daughter takes her mother aside and smooths things over in a way which makes everyone happy. It is not a new dance for her, and Cecilia does it well, without distress. When her mother expresses her intent to look for the missing Briony, Cecilia does not dissuade her, and Emily exits. At last, forty minutes later than she promised, Cecilia meets her brother on the terrace.

Leon hands his sister a drink, lights her cigarette for her, and admires her dress. She prompts him to tell her about his life, which he does. His life is smooth and untroubled by highs and lows, and he sees everyone in his acquaintance as a decent, moral person. There is nothing exciting about Leon or his life, but his is a soothing presence to Cecilia. At work, at home, or on an evening out with friends, Leon is unexceptional but content. When he stops talking, Cecilia prods him to continue by asking more questions just to hear him talk about his life away from here. Soon, though, it is her turn to recount the details of her life, and Cecilia is unable to keep the mocking sarcasm out of her descriptions of the people who are most frustrating to her. What she describes is full of desperation and emptiness, and she feels somehow transparent.

Leon asks her what is wrong, but she really has nothing to tell him; at any rate, she knows she could never confess to her actions earlier in the day. He tells her she should come stay in the city with him for a while and she says she will, though even she can hear the lack of conviction in her voice. Cecilia knows she would be sucked back into the drama of this life even if she did manage to leave. Near them, in the dark, they hear someone calling them. It is Briony, still in her filthy white dress, and she has something in her hand. When she sees Leon, she runs to hug him, stuffing a folded piece of paper in her sister’s hand as she flies by.

Cecilia is amused but curious about the letter and opens it privately. What she reads nearly takes her breath away, and she recognizes that what she has been feeling all day—perhaps even all her life—is the sexual tension between herself and Robbie. That is why she fought over a vase, could not decide on a dress, wanted to leave but knows she will stay, finds everything so different. As she folds the letter to put it away, she has the sudden realization that this letter must have originally been in a sealed envelope. When she demands to know if her sister read the letter and where the envelope is, Briony simply buries her face in her brother’s shoulder, avoiding Cecilia and her questions. Paul enters the terrace with some murky drinks made of chocolate on a tray, insisting they all try his concoction.

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