Entitled “Places We Go When Things Don’t Go as Planned,” chapter 3 centers on the emotions boredom, disappointment, expectations, regret, discouragement, resignation, and frustration.

Brown defines boredom as the frustration or restlessness we feel due to a lack of stimulation. However, she also posits that boredom accords us a trance-like rhythm, in which we are able to access the deeper, meaning-making parts of our brain. Ultimately, boredom can be a gateway to imagination and creativity.

Disappointment is a negative emotional reaction to one’s unfulfilled expectations. Brown explains that these expectations can be both conscious and subconscious, with the latter carrying more weight. As it is intertwined with feelings of shame and betrayal, disappointment strains the relationships we have with other people. It is also a significant barrier to forgiveness. In order to manage disappointment, Brown notes, it is important to communicate one’s expectations, as well as letting go of emotional investment in things beyond our control. Our own expectations of others must be constantly examined—without sacrificing optimism.

Brown compares regret to disappointment, with the main difference between them being the belief that a certain negative outcome is our own fault. While it is negatively associated with feelings of guilt and self-blame, however, to have regrets is to practice self-reflection and recognize the need for growth.

Discouragement, resignation, and frustration are grouped together and characterized as the negative emotional outcomes of disappointment and regret. Brown defines discouragement as feelings of hopelessness regarding one’s future efforts, while resignation is an admission of utter defeat. Both these feelings point to a loss of confidence and motivation. Frustration, meanwhile, involves feelings of powerlessness over a specific obstacle or barrier.