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Why does the major tell the narrator not to marry in Hemingway's "In Another Country"?
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The major advises against marriage because he fears the loss of a spouse, which can be particularly devastating for soldiers who already face significant dangers and uncertainties. This fear is highlighted by the irony that, despite waiting until after the war to marry, the major's wife dies unexpectedly from pneumonia. His advice reflects his personal experience with loss and the emotional turmoil it causes, illustrating his deep fear of vulnerability and attachment.
Signor Maggiore says that a man must not marry because he risks losing his wife. He mentions that if a man were to get married, there is a possibility that the married man will lose his wife. The major insists that if a man is to lose everything, he should not place himself in the position to also lose his wife. Signor Maggiore's comments are profound because the reader and the narrator assume that the major's advice relates to the possibility of a soldier dying in war. A soldier's death would inevitably affect the man's wife. The major may also be referring to the fear of a soldier losing his wife while he is stationed away during a war. There is always the possibility of a soldier's wife becoming disinterested or unwilling to carry on the relationship because of stress and long distance. Ironically, the major takes these precautions and...
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waits until after the war to get married, only to have his wife die from pneumonia.Â
In the short story In Another Country, the major said a man must never marry. The main reason he said this was because he was a soldier. His concern was twofold. If he were married in wartime, he would have two worries. One is that he would be distracted in battle, thinking about leaving his wife all alone if he were to die. This would cause distraction, which could easily lead to his death.
The other reason he said a man should never marry is because of a fear of loss. The major is terrified of losing someone he loves, and says so.
This whole thing is ironic in the long run, because he marries a woman much younger than him so that he would not have to worry about losing her. He waits until he is out of the war to get married, for the above reason. He figured he would die first, being the much older person. The irony comes when she dies of illness, leaving him alone. All of those plans to keep from losing the person her loved were pointless.
What does the major mean by saying a man must not marry in "In Another Country"?
When the narrator shares that he hopes to be married one day, the major responds in a very angry way:
The more of a fool you are . . . . A man must not marry . . . . He cannot marry. He cannot marry. If he is to lose everything, he should not place himself in a position to lose that.
The narrator is confused by the major's reaction. He understands it, however, a little while later when he learns that the major's young wife has just died very unexpectedly. The major has experienced many losses because of the war, and he has managed to endure them all, but this loss--so completely senseless and for which he has been totally unprepared--has challenged his spirit in a way with which he is unfamiliar. He feels hopeless, telling the narrator, "I cannot resign myself." He cries, and repeats himself: "I am utterly unable to resign myself.
Hemingway's next descriptive passage portrays the major's strength and character:
And then crying, his head up looking at nothing, carrying himself straight and soldierly, with tears on both his cheeks and biting his lips, he walked past the machines and out the door.
After an absence of several days, the major returns to the hospital to continue his therapy, even though he places no faith in it. In making this choice, the major has chosen to endure even his most devastating loss and go on in life. He is a man of much courage, dignity, and moral strength.