Chapters 7-8 Summary
Chapter 7
There are many people in American society who feel isolated and alienated. Yet, this is not surprising given the pervasive ethos of materialism and acquisition. hooks explains that Americans fell into the trap of pathological narcissism in the wake of wars of the latter half of the century; it was an era which witnessed economic bounty while undermining the democratic ideals of freedom and justice. Instead of demanding justice in the public sphere, many came to focus on solace and escape in their private lives. The same period also encountered enormous despair as divorce rates and cases of child abuse rose.
A concern with community and connection was now replaced by the fulfillment of hedonistic, materialistic desire. The acceptance of corruption and exposure of dishonesty and unethical behavior in the White House would be seemingly exacerbated by the influence of big business and the start of new imperial ventures.
Among the poor and the other underclasses, the worship of money became most evident by the unprecedented increase in the street drug industry. The ubiquitous phenomenon of addiction in poor and affluent communities alike is linked to a hunger for material consumption that prevents one from loving. In his book Love and Addiction, Stanton Peele observes that addiction makes love impossible because “addiction is not about relatedness.” Addicts cannot love effectively given their energies are devoted to acquiring and using their drug, whether it be alcohol, cocaine, heroin, sex, or shopping. Hence, addiction is both a cause and consequence of widespread lovelessness: for instance, substance abuse in O.J. Simpson’s family, as well as Nicole’s unwise decision to remain in a dangerous relationship in order to retain a glamorous lifestyle, suggests evidence of addiction problems.
hooks notes that with the combined hunger for material wealth and immediate satisfaction, a similar addictive greed is equally apparent when people desire immediate fulfillment in love. In Journey of the Heart: The Path of Conscious Love, John Welwood complains that too many people expect love will solve all problems or guarantee a state of bliss or security: assumptions which ironically undermine the power of love in its capacity to transform oneself. In particular, patriarchal culture leads men to view love as something they should receive with little effort. But it is no less true that people in general feel inclined to treat partners as though they were objects to be picked up and disposed of at will. When greed and materialism run rampant, dehumanization becomes acceptable.
Greed destroys the spirit of connectedness that is necessary for human survival, replacing it with dangerous narcissism. Indeed, hooks blames the nation’s willing sacrifice of government-funded social services for violent imperialistic ventures on this self-centered avarice. She quotes Marianne Williamson’s remarks on greed and the absence of brotherly love in the The Healing of America, noting that the backlash against welfare is not so much a backlash against welfare abuse but a rejection of compassion.
hooks finds herself saddened by the culture of greed that is found among younger people and Baby Boomers alike. She reflects upon the likes of Lil Kim, who professes little interest in love, as well as Boomers who did not want to pursue the hard task of changing the existing political and social system in ways that would affirm the values of peace, love, democracy, and justice. They wanted their children to be materially secure. hooks also reminds her readers that it is not just the corrupt who fall sway to greed, because those with good intentions can also be swept away by unprecedented access to power and privilege. Citing...
(This entire section contains 1309 words.)
Unlock this Study Guide Now
Start your 48-hour free trial and get ahead in class. Boost your grades with access to expert answers and top-tier study guides. Thousands of students are already mastering their assignments—don't miss out. Cancel anytime.
Already a member? Log in here.
the examples of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, hooks describes their relationship as a public dramatization of the politics of greed at play and the destruction of love.
Chapter 8
hooks emphasizes that it is communities which sustain life rather than nuclear families, the “couple,” or the rugged individualist. She reinforces M. Scott Peck’s definition of community as the coming together of a group of individuals who communicate honestly with each other and share a commitment to rejoice and mourn together while making others’ conditions their own. Instead, much of the focus on “family values” is centered on the nuclear family of the parents and their children. hooks observes that the replacement of the extended family by the nuclear family helped increase alienation. Moreover, while handing absolute rule to the father, and secondary rule over children to the mother, women are increasingly forced to rely on an individual man and children on an individual woman: such an arrangement can easily become the breeding ground for abuses of power, with families winding up more dysfunctional than ever.
While extended families may not necessarily be less dysfunctional, the diversity of its members can usually ensure the presence of some individuals who are both sane and loving. Psychoanalyst Alice Miller points out the necessity for “enlightened witnesses,” those who can restore a sense of hope to children suffering unnecessarily by providing kindness, tenderness, and concern. This can only happen when families exist as part of larger communities. Certainly, anthropologists and sociologists have discovered that small privatized units, especially those grounded on a patriarchal hierarchy, are unhealthy environments; globally enlightened parenting is, in fact, best optimized within the context of community and extended family networks.
Another place where children have the opportunity to build community and know love is in friendship, which can offer the care, knowledge, and all-around nurturance of growth that they cannot find in their own families. Even though many learn that the ties of friendship are less important than family ties, friendship can provide a first glimpse of a caring community. Learning to love in friendships can enable one to bring this love to other interactions with family or romantic partners. As an example, hooks mentions a friend who taught her to value her relationship with her mother.
When love is understood as the will to nurture one’s own or another’s spiritual growth, revealed through acts of care, respect, knowledge, and responsibility, it should be readily apparent that the foundation of all love in life is the same. There is no special love exclusively reserved for a romantic partner because love is the foundation of our engagement with family, friends, partners, and anyone we choose to love. The values that inform human behavior, when rooted in a love ethic, are always the same for any interaction. However, most women and men born in the fifties or earlier were socialized to believe that marriages and/or committed romantic bonds of any kind should take precedence over all other relationships. All too often women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget. Women who would not tolerate a friendship in which they are abused emotionally and physically should not tolerate similar abuse in romantic relationships.
hooks observes that when she left an abusive romantic relationship, she realized that it was more fulfilling to live within a circle of love by interacting with loved ones to whom we are committed. This means maintaining satisfying relationships with friends where mutual love exists. Within a loving community, ties are sustained through compassion and forgiveness; the latter is a gesture of respect that clears a path to love. Here, hooks mentions a friend and colleague who betrayed her. By practicing compassion, hooks came not only to understand why the friend behaved as she did, but to forgive her as well.
hooks also highlights the importance of learning an appreciation of solitude as well as service, sacrifice, and the sharing of resources. Even minor gestures like speaking to a stranger can count. The healing of family wounds can help strengthen community through an engagement in loving practice. That love establishes the foundation for the constructive building of community with strangers.
