Chapter 60 Summary
Tyrion notes that the new High Septon's new crown, provided by Tywin Lannister, is even more ornate than his predecessor's. Otherwise, the wedding does not impress Tyrion, who spends most of it wishing that he would have pissed before leaving his quarters. He resents how regal and perfect Joffrey and Margaery look together and recalls bitterly his own farcical wedding to Sansa. He ponders how and why Joffrey tried to have Bran Stark killed. After the wedding, the nobility prepares for the wedding feast, which will have seventy seven courses to flaunt the wealth and power of the Lannisters and the Tyrells. Sansa puts up her hair in a beautiful hairnet, while Tyrion admires his handsome clothing; if only there were a handsome man to wear it, he thinks. Tyrion spends the evening getting drunk, as does Joffrey. When Joffrey calls upon two dwarfs to joust on pigs, everyone but the insulted Tyrion is amused. Joffrey suggests that Tyrion enter the competition. Tyrion replies that he will if Joffrey joins him; after all, Joffrey is the only person that Tyrion could hope to beat. The court laughs. Joffrey, drunk and furious, orders Tyrion to be his cupbearer. Tyrion pours Joffrey's wine for him before he tries to leave. Joffrey, however, orders Tyrion to continue. Coughing, he drinks again, but the cough does not stop. The court slowly realizes that Joffrey is choking. He dies before their eyes. When Margaery's mother suggests that Joffrey choked on his wedding pie, Cersei declares that her son was poisoned by Tyrion. She orders the Kingsguard to arrest him.