Why do you think it is so important to develop a relationship with children that possess challenging behaviors?

Expert Answers
Ashley Kannan eNotes educator| Certified Educator

In the end, research shows that in order for a child's behavior to change into something productive and meaningful, some level of personal regard from adult figures needs to be evident.  Adults who establish personal rapport with children that display challenging  behaviors are able to "reach" these children better than adults who lack such a connection.  In seeking to establish a personal regard with students that display challenging behaviors, the child is confronted with a different reality than they might have experienced:  An adult who cares.  Personal regard is not synonymous with "anything goes."  Rather, it is an understanding that an adult will establish a relationship with a child that is predicated on appropriate and responsible behaviors as opposed to poor decision making choices. 

It is important to establish such relationships with children that display challenging behaviors because the alternative does not really accomplish anything.  If a child feels that there is no relationship, the child has "carte blanche" to do whatever they wish because "no one cares."  It is for this reason that forging relationships is the only appropriate option if the goal is to remedy challenging behavior situations.

sarahharun | Student

Children are complicated creatures. At first glance they might look so cute and innocent but that lasts till they know you deeply. Most children display calmness out of shyness. Children can be naughty and at times very naughty that they could get on any one's nerve. But it is actually when you come in terms with children that you get to really understand them. All children love a kind approach. But there are others with whom gentleness does not always work. Like for instance, naughty kids would never bother to write neatly or even study well sometimes. This is the challenging part of the task. 

The first step would be to study the child well. Look closely at the child's interest and also come to know what the child likes. Trying to understand what motivates or encourages a child is a very important task. Some kids love appreciation and love to get credit even if they have not done so well. It is very important to build self esteem in young kids and this can only be the result of dealing with kindness and encouragement. Young girls and young boys should be encouraged differently because what motivates a girl not always encourages a boy.

One can develop and achieve this goal if they have a good relationship with the child. It could be the parents or teachers. Most kids fear of adults reprimanding them or punishing them. Therefore if the relationship is that of a friend then kids will open up gradually and this will help them to improve and achieve their goal.

{Note: I used to tutor very young kids for a couple of years and this is what I felt is needed. Sometimes as a teacher with so much pressure one forgets the essential do's and dont's.}