How do we begin the new year (2012) without sadness and worries?  How do we begin the new year 2012, Without sadness and worries? Can I forget all the painful memories, and begin again in 2012?...

How do we begin the new year (2012) without sadness and worries?


How do we begin the new year 2012, Without sadness and worries?

Can I forget all the painful memories, and begin again in 2012?

"HAPPY NEW YEAR" to all.... {^_^}

Expert Answers
pacorz eNotes educator| Certified Educator

What a wonderful, thought-provoking discussion this question has created! Thank you for making us stop and think in such a timely way.

In addition to all the excellent thoughts already shared here, I would like to add one more idea: Good Riddance Day. This New Years ritual, which probably originated in Italy, has long been celebrated in Latin America and is now making its way into the US.

The idea is to symbolically destroy the things that you would like to leave in the past. It and include actually smashing or throwing out objects, or writing down the bad things and then shredding, burying, or burning the paper; either way, you are showing yourself and the world that you are letting go of the parts of the past year that were hard for you.

It won't make you forget everything, but it may make things rest easier in your mind. Symbolism can be very powerful, and an act like this reminds us that while the past cannot be changed, the future is still yours to write. It can be a way to begin the healing process.

Lorraine Caplan eNotes educator| Certified Educator

There is good evidence to show that thinking about sadness and worry over and over again makes it easier for us to keep on doing the same, that we are actually making the negative pathways in our brains easier to travel.  But the same is also true when we think about what is sweet and good in our lives.  The negative thoughts sap our energy, and the positive thoughts increase our energy, which allows us to deal with the negative far more easily.  While I have not read Feeling Good, my guess is that the author would agree with this. I lost my husband this year, and that has not been so easy, but I have so many wonderful friends, work that I love, and a great family.  And those are the positive pathways that I focus on.  Every life includes ups and downs, tragedies and triumphs.  This is what it means to be human.  We can always use the goodness in life to help us get through the bad.

bigdreams1 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

What a beautiful question. I am my nature a type A personality...I am driven...and I worry about everything...and I carry sadness and guilt from past tragedies and mistakes...but it is making me sick with anxiety and I have been told by doctors I must find a way to live a more peaceful life.

So, I have been trying to set boundaries...not letting people cross lines that put me in a position of doing things I don't want to do...or taking on more than I am ready for.  I have been also learning to let go what I cannot control...and am focusing on the moment and not the past or future.

I don't think we can erase past sadnesses...but as previous posters have said...we can use those events to help others and improve our lives.

vangoghfan eNotes educator| Certified Educator

It's very difficult to forget painful memories, but it's useful to try to do so, because such memories usually have highly negative effects on the person afflicted by them. In general, a book I always recommend to people who seem troubled is called Feeling Good, by David Burns, a noted cognitive psychologist who has since written many more books. That book, however, is especially helpful because he not only makes a persuasive case that painful emotions result from mistakes in thinking, but he also -- most significantly -- provides very practical exercises for combatting mistakes in thinking. I have recommended this book many times to friends over the years, and I have even passed along copies to them.

literaturenerd eNotes educator| Certified Educator

One must remember that the important thing about making mistakes (sadness and worries) is learning from them. We can recognize from our past the things that make us sad and worry and learn to change things (or try to change them) prior to them happening.

Trying to begin a new year without sadness and worries is (sorry to say) impossible. Some worries and sad things are far too unbearable to overcome, but the important thing is recognizing that we can change our lives.

All I can suggest is learning to overcome things makes us stronger. The stronger we become, the fewer worries and sorrows we have.

In the new year, make one promise to yourself: be strong.

dmcgillem eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Oh, wow, I think if I had the answer to this, I would be on a world tour! :) As it is, I think the only advice I could give would be to refer to the Serenity Prayer.  Whatever happened in 2011 (or earlier) that you can fix, do all that is in your power to fix, but if it is beyond your control, then accept that all you can do is control your reaction to whatever that particular circumstance is.  Circumstances do not make you who you are, but your decisions and reactions to those circumstances can shape the person you are and the way others see you.  Good luck in the new year!

bullgatortail eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Errors can't always be corrected, but a wise man (or woman) will learn from his mistakes and try to not repeat them in the future. Isn't that what New Year's resolutions are all about? One of my best friends is on her deathbed with terminal colon cancer, so 2012 probably isn't going to start out well, but I'm looking forward to it being a better year than 2011, when both my stepmother and my wife's mother died. Such things are all part of growing older, but hope is a wonderful thing, so I still have faith that good things are in store for the new year. 

lmetcalf eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I don't think it is entirely possible to live without sadness or worry because those emotions are part of everyone's human nature, but it is possible to live with a consciousness of the positive and the possibilities of the future. Worry isn't a bad thing; it can keep us safe and help us make good choices. Sadness can make us appreciate what we have while we grieve what we don't have or have lost. In th end, the power of positive thinking should be embraced.

accessteacher eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I think one of the biggest lessons I have learnt in life is not to see my failures as "failures," which is a very negative word. Instead, I try to see them as opportunities to learn. Reflecting on my life I don't now feel I have any "regrets" as such, as each of my mistakes has helped make me into the person that I am today. This is a good way of starting afresh without worries and guilt.

just-s | Student

mmmm gud topic for discussion!!!

well, i think the best tool is to forgive and forget!!!

not to hold grudges and to have an open heart and have it clean all the time!

when ever you do anything you should clear your heart and have a pure intention, therefore that leads to a decrease in the chance of you having any regrets... yes!!you will have some bitter times but it all lies with you to handle them and take the challenge and turn it into an  opportunity which you can benifit in the long run!!


behrenberg | Student

Well, the only real hope you have is to vote for Ron Paul. However, it looks like we're going to continue a path of self-destruction. Therefore, just live your final free days doing the things you love the most. Don't worry about your future, because you won't have one. Don't worry about work. You can worry about work when you're a slave to the Chinese. Have a good day.

paulina07 | Student

Leave the past in the past. Start fresh. Don't look back.

irha-nadeem | Student

I think we should start our new year by learning from past, forgetting our worries and sorrows, and thinking the best about future.


sarah4321 | Student

just forget everything what happened in the past and enjoy your life

elisa96 | Student

you just need to forgive and forget... athough there will be some things that cant be fixed you just need to accept that and do everything you can to fix the other things. learn from all the mistakes and live from them... dont wory bout what others think of you... be yourself and dont regret it:)

shihan | Student

Don't think about the past.just forget about them and do right things in future...i know its not easy as said.but try it.if you want you can for the end of the day u will success.always be happy. HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Have a great year ahead!

loraaa | Student

but sometimes>>>

 A bad penny always turns up....

How to get rid of your mistakes forever?
 "difficult The answer for this question."


loraaa | Student

Do you think that you can correct the errors that the 2011 in 2012?
 I think that some are "errors can not be corrected never"

 Good luck to all..... ^_^

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