If I were at war I would write to my family and say: Please try not to worry--I am OK and will return safely--I wouldn't want them to dwell on my situation. I would also tell them that I loved them dearly--in case something did happen to me. I would also tell them why I thought it was important that I was fighting in this war--to preserve the way of life that we so adore.

I would share just enough about the war to make my family believe I was being completely honest, but not so much as make them worry any more than they would be already. In other words, if I said that there was nothing to worry about, and that everything was safe and easy, they would know I was lying and trying to cover something up. Basically, my first priority would be minimizing the anguish of my family.

I would want to convey that I was safe and taken care of. My family would have enough to worry about and I would not want to compound their fears. The best letters, for me, would be the ones which told my family how much I loved them and would keep them positive.

I probably would not tell my family many details.  I would not want them to worry.  I would tell them little funny things I thought they would appreciate.  I also would not want to give away miltary secrets.  I would definitely tell them how much I love them and miss them, but mostly that I am doing well and I am ok.

More than anything, I would make sure my family understood my heart and I would do my best to communicate my love and feelings for them.  Beyond that, I would do everything I could to alleviate their worry and concerns for me.

In that situation, your family would miss you quite a bit and probably spend a lot of time worrying. I think I'd write about some of the day-to-day things that might be boring to some, but reassuring for my family to read about. I'd try to tone down the scary stuff.

I would probably write different material to my husband, but I would definitely be upbeat with the children. I'd discuss loyalty and commitment to fighting for something that you believe in. I would encourage my kids to stay hopeful and happy for sure. I do know that my dad didn't have children when he served in Viet Nam, so he wrote my mother about what they were doing over there. She knew the government was lieing to America on the TV because my dad's letters confirmed what they denied.  For example, they said on TV in 1969 that they weren't bombing Cambodia and a letter that my mother had received said that my dad's next move was to Cambodia for a bombing campaign.  Of course, that might have been to protect our soldiers, but it is an interesting story.

I don't think I would share my fears for the future or the present.  I think that I would want to be upbeat in all of my letters.  It would probably be pointless because my family would worry about me anyway, but I don't think I would want to write stuff about fears because I think it would make it worse for them.

First of all, I would suggest that you look at real correspondence from people in real wars which has been preserved.  Original sources are important to look at with this question. Many records exist with personal correspondence from soldiers from the Civil War through the wars with Iraq and Afghanistan.  Personally, I would want to tell my family that I loved them, that I hated being away from them, and that I hated missing them and what was happening with them.  I also think that if I were writing to my spouse, I might share my ideas and fears for the future, and my determination to help my country survive the war and its challenges.  If the war were being waged on my country's soil, as opposed to across the ocean, I would be trying to help my family cope with the fear of the war coming near them.