Why is the speaker so upset with their father?

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It appears the speaker in the poem sees her father as cruel and overbearing; at the same time, she idolizes and loves him. The two feelings are complicated and leave her with a mix of anger and yearning. The yearning is evident when she says that, at twenty, she tried...

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It appears the speaker in the poem sees her father as cruel and overbearing; at the same time, she idolizes and loves him. The two feelings are complicated and leave her with a mix of anger and yearning. The yearning is evident when she says that, at twenty, she tried to die to get back to him.

The speaker in the poem compares her father to Nazis because she sees him as fascist; later in the poem, though, she says that every woman loves a fascist. The combination of fear of her father and love for him confuse and upset her now that he's gone and she can't speak to him or see him again. Despite her yearning, though, she wants to destroy him and his memory.

She compares him to a vampire, which shows how he drained the life from her. It's likely that he took a lot of the joy out of her youth based on that comparison. She says he drank her blood for a year.

It's clear that the speaker didn't live happily or easily with her father. She says that she could barely dare to breathe or sneeze. Her anger probably comes from her unhappy upbringing with a likely abusive father.

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