The Giver asks Jonas for forgiveness after transmitting a painful memory of war in chapter 15 because the memory is too difficult for him to bear. Moreover, war is one of the horrors that Jonas’s society has eradicated by controlling people in The Giver. Jonas therefore has no framework to even understand why people would harm one another this way.
The reader sees most of the rules and controls in Jonas’s society as oppressive ones that eliminate individuality. Some changes, such as climate control or the elimination of colors, even imply that people sacrifice certain pleasures, such as the enjoyment of the different seasons when the leaves change colors or the first snowfall. In fact, because of their controls, people no longer even see colors at all. However, one positive outcome produced by the controls, strict adherence to the rules, and the goal to achieve “sameness” is that the society has eliminated war.
Jonas cannot even understand the concept of war when he first receives the memory from the Giver. Many of the other memories that Jonas receives make him long for the society in which people are free to make their own decisions and families love one another. However, the memory that the Giver transmits in Chapter 15 is so horrible that it would have been difficult for anyone to accept, let alone a young man who lives in a society where such concepts are unthinkable. For Jonas, who is at the earliest stages of his training and lives in a world where there is no war, the memory is horrific and hurts him physically.
When Jonas arrives at the annex for his training session on that particular day, the Elder was grappling with what was clearly a particularly brutal memory. Rather than just leaving him to suffer, Jonas asks the Elder if there is anything he can do to help. The Elder accepts his offer of assistance, and he hands over the memory that is tormenting him. I think it's safe to say that Jonas was not ready for what he saw.
The memory that the Giver shared with him this time was a horrifying and vivid scene of war. Jonas watches a man die in front of him and is powerless to help. Jonas, grievously injured himself, lies on the battlefield for hours with people dying all around him.
The Elder asks for forgiveness because he realizes that it was too soon in the process of transferring the community's memories to Jonas for him to have shared this particular one. It was his own moment of weakness that made him unable to bear the memory alone, and he accepted his young protegee's offer of help without thinking through the consequences. In fact, the Elder feels so guilty that he cannot even look at Jonas while he apologizes for his mistake.
Further Reading
In chapter 15, Jonas arrives at the Annex and the Giver is in extreme pain. When Jonas asks the Giver if there is anything he can do...
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to ease the discomfort, the Giver asks him to take some of the pain from his being. Prior to this visit, Jonas has only experienced minor discomfort and is still a naive, innocent boy. The Giver then transfers the horrific memory of a wounded soldier on a battlefield to Jonas. For the first time, Jonas experiences the pain of being injured and incapacitated in the middle of a battle. Jonas also watches as a young soldier tragically dies surrounded by corpses, wounded men, and constant gunfire. In the memory, Jonas experiences danger and excruciating pain. Jonas's traumatic war experience is extremely painful and disturbing.
After the Giver transfers the horrific memory of war to Jonas, he immediately apologizes for harming Jonas. The Giver sympathizes with Jonas and understands that he is suffering as a result of the memory. Following his traumatic experience, Jonas loses his childhood innocence and no longer wants to return to the Annex to complete his assignment.
In chapter 15 of The Giver, Jonas arrives to see The Giver sitting rigidly with a pained look. Jonas offers to help by receiving the memory in the hopes that it will take away some of The Giver's pain. What Jonas receives is a terrible memory of war. He sees blood and destruction. He sees a boy begging for water and then witnesses his death. Jonas feels physical and emotional pain after the memory.
The Giver asks Jonas for forgiveness because he understands the pain that he has just passed to Jonas. In his protected environment, Jonas is unaware of the concept of war. While many of the memories passed to Jonas at this point have been happy or pleasant, such as the memories of colors, sun, and snow, The Giver realizes that he must also share the memories that are sad and painful. Because of the knowledge he possesses, The Giver is an important resource for the community.
In Lois Lowery's novel, The Giver, Jonas was innocent and had no painful memories. The Giver held all the memories of the society and those were the good as well as the bad memories. With each memory the Giver released into Jonas, his burden of the memories became lighter. On the other hand, Jonas's memories became more burdensome. With each memory Jonas receives, he actually feels the joy or the pain.
The Giver apologized to Jonas because he gave him so much of the terrible memory, so much pain, and in turn releived himself of the pain he has carried for so long. The Giver was releived to lose that memory but felt guilty for releasing this pain into the young Jonas who had never know the pain of the memories of war, death, and destruction. Up until this point in time,Jonas had only received pleasant and non-harmful memories.
"The memory continues for hours as Jonas lies in the field, overwhelmed with pain, as cannons are fired and people die."