Speculation as to why Muslims and Arabs hate America: I can't give you answers to your questions, but I can tell you my experience which may give you some perspective on the issue.
I worked for about a year in the Saudi Arabian embassy in Wash., DC.
There were Saudiis there who hated the U.S. One declared to the Americans there one day that he hated America and would kill Americans if he could. There were others who did not hate the U.S.
The ones who hated were arrogant, self-righteous, aloof people. The ones who did not hate were friendly, conversational, relaxed people.
I suspect the former practiced puritanical Islam and the second practiced their religion for the moral guidance that it gave to them.
I think I will make another point: The American popular culture embraces modernity and opposes tradition. America is engaged both governmentally (such as the Iraqi war) and nongovernmentally (such as rock stars and Hollywood movies) in spreading its modernity all over the world. There is even a big cultural "war" here in America between the forces of modernity and the forces of tradition. The bulk of Muslims are traditional people, though it seems to me that the very ones who hate us are the ones who have abandoned much of their traditional ways and embraced much of the ways of modernity. I may be wrong. These are just my impressions.