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Poster #7 has hit is spot on.
I think one has to be specific when talking about force in disciplining children. There is a big difference between spanking a child on the bottom and smacking them across the face. One is discipline...the other child abuse.
With that in mind...I think it is very appropriate for parents to back up consequences for deliberately bad behavior with a swat to the butt. I have tried reasoning with my children (when they were younger) and I have tried a little pain in the hind end to prove to my kids that I was serious about how dangerous their behavior was.
They really only got the message when there was a little pain involved.
I agree that good communication and consistency are very important in disciplining and raising children. As far as the use of physical force, I tend to agree that there is a time and a place for some spankings and hand slaps. The biggest thing is that these should not occur out of anger but as a part of a decided consequence for an inappropriate behavior.
"Physical force" such as spankings or hand slapping, is simply one manefestation of consequences when it comes to child-discipline. As such, when it comes to communication and consequences as part of discipline, than I disagree with all of the above posts that say they do not go together. Yes they do. Effective discipline, in my mind, the kind of discipline that actually results in behavioral change, is directly related to consistency in communication and the enforcement of consequences.
I'm not sure the question is posed correctly when it says communication is a reason parents should use more force. Instead, to me, effective discipline and parental communication requires that parents be consistent.
Force? There is no use for force when there is communication in place. If anything the only thing we can do is enforce communication between the parental unit and the children in order not to ever end up in a situation so pressing and so explosive that a tragedy follows.
What parents totally need to do these days is teach their kids about the importance of speaking up, speaking out, and communicating their thoughts with respect and deference. Some of us find it very ridiculous to see a 15 year old young man talking like an ignorant primate.
I do not think that force and communication go together, at least not if we are talking about physical force. I would argue that using physical force in discipline is really the opposite of communication. All it communicates is "I'm so mad at you that I'm going to use physical force."
So, I have a lot of trouble seeing how force can be used to increase the level of communication.
I think it's important that parents "lead by example" when they attempt to communicate with their children. Many kids are quick to see the hypocrisy of parents who say one thing to their children, but then demonstrate the opposite in their own daily actions. Kids will always take short-cuts when possible, and if they see that their parents are willing to go the extra mile in their own lives, hopefully their children will also understand their motives.
i hate phisical punishment like spankings and similar. It's not like I'm the ideal mom and haven't done that ever, i have i admit and i hate myslef for doing that. this has taught me to be more patient, cause usually when i think the situation over later on, i realise i should have not spanked my son, he is a smart little boy and if i was more patient with him, i could have hanndled the situation with more words and persistance. So i'm learning from my own experience and i hope my example will help you understand and learn not to spank your kids EVER. They just do not learn anything form it, just that you are stonger phisically and that is why they have to listen to you. They will apply this in their own lives later on, and that is not something you would like to see honestly.
So when communicating with your kids, try to put yourself in their place. Try to guess what they are understaning or not understanding from what you are talking about, in regards to theit age. Sometimes you need to repeat some stuff and please do, smaller kids need repetition to understand, never lose patience.
I learn a lot from artilces on parenting and other parent's experiances and also form some exerts browsing the net. Parenting sites are useful too better understand your children.
"Man is a social animal." He needs to communicate with the people around him.Effective communication does wonders to oneself provided one learns the skill.
As people always look for good people even though they themself may not be one,communication is one feature human analyse a stranger for the behaviour...So one with good communication is pleased by everyone on the street.It also forms the part of personality development,so educating children with communication skills becomes important in society.
In this growing corporate world good-communication has become the de-facto standerd in interviews.
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