Why are boys so shy? I can not understand that.I sent a letter to my boyfriend he has never sent me a letter back.

Expert Answers
whoa-nelly eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I have a son that is sixteen and I also teach middle school- aged kids.

I don't think that you can group all boys as shy. But it sounds like that you have already figured out that boys and girls relate very differently!

I believe that girls are pursuing boys more aggressively these days and many boys react differently to this type of attention.

My son dated one girl in ninth grade for months. He eventually broke up with her for no reason, crushing both of their hearts. His reason? It was just too much work being in a relationship!

I think guys that are similar to your age still want to go home and play video games and go outside and be boys. Girls want to go home and think about their boyfriends!

Perhaps your boyfriend not writing a letter back to you is more of a sign of maturity level and not a sign of how he feels about you.

Dating is about learning what you like and don't like about others. If you don't like the fact that he isn't giving you the attention you desire, then move on! Otherwise, don't put so much pressure on him and allow him to find other ways to relate to you!

Good luck!


litteacher8 eNotes educator| Certified Educator
There could be many reasons for this. Of course, it could be personality. Some people are shy and some are not. If he is not normally a shy person, it could just be inexperience. He may not be sure what to do or how to react in the situation. He may view the letter as a step forward in commitment, because he would be putting his thoughts and feelings on paper. Although it's stereotype, sometimes men and boys do have a harder time expressing feelings than women. Try not to take it personally. Instead of asking him to write a letter, ask him to talk to you about his feelings after he reads yours.
alohaspirit eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Some boys are shy, but some are craving attention.  It depends on how the boy is raised. I am a middle school teacher, and many of my boys are not shy at all, but they crave attention from their peers and myself because of the lack of interaction with their parents at home.  I would not make a generalization that boys are shy, but they do tend to not be as socially mature as girls. 

besure77 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I do not think that all boys are necessarily shy. If you sent him a letter and he has not sent one back it may be just because he does not want to. Or, maybe he does not like to write or maybe he thinks it is "lame" to write letters to girls. I think the best thing to do is just come right out and ask him.

crystaltu001 | Student

some boys don't really show their real personality around people they are not familiar with or people they are not close to. You just have to wait a while in order for boys to show their true personality . They just are shy to people they are not close to.

atyourservice | Student

He might be shy, or he just might not be able to show his feelings well lol

rosemary08151956 | Student

Boys want to appear as Superman or Super Human in every way possible.  Society makes letter writing seem silly or female or sissy; thus, many men would avoid letter writing at all costs to avoid ribbing/teasing their peers could dump on them.  Rather, talk to males, face-to-face, if possible.  Other males will be jealous!  %>)

lizzlizzbizz | Student

boys are just shy because they are wierd sometimes!;)

tuere27 | Student

Boys are really not shy they just want to play hard in front of their friends.