Why does the author talk about parents having selective memories of the past that are transparently dishonest?
Parents, like anyone, can remember past events incompletely, incorrectly or "selectively". Why? Denial, a subconscious effort to change what really happened, an attempt to cast themselves in a better light. Any memory that deviates from the truth is dishonest and it is transparent because children usually see right through it. A parent may selectively remember that he attended his child's every piano recital because that is he what he wanted to do, or that is what he knew he should have done, but it is not what actually happened. The child has a very different memory -- that the parent was often NOT there.