Expert Answers
lfawley eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Blaming the victim, I think, comes about because it seems easier to deal with. It is easy to be an outside observer and say that if we were in the situation we would just leave. When victims, particularly women, go to the authorities they are often told to simply walk away or they are told that there is nothing the authorities can do unless they catch him in the act. Women who dress provocatively are blames for leading men on as well.

The problem is that the act of domestic violence has started to be taken more seriously and what it has also led to is an increasing number of women who are making accusations against men just to use the legal system to their advantage. So, once again, it becomes a he said/she said. The sad thing is that those women who do lie about accusations of abuse make it more difficult for the authorities to take actual cases seriously.

besure77 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

The are several forms of dating abuse. This abuse can be emotional, physical, or both. Many times females get into abusive relationships because they have self esteem issues or feel the need to be controlled. They may also find that this is a recurring behavior. Some of the reasons that this may happen is because they had a father or father figure who was abusive.

It is important for people who become involved in these kinds of relationships to seek help so they can break the pattern.

Males are also the subjects of dating abuse as well.

pohnpei397 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I think you'd get a better answer with a more specific question -- one that told us what aspect of this you would like discussed.

In general, of course dating abuse is a horrible thing.  As the father of two daughters, the idea of any sort of abuse like this is really scary and hateful.

So what else is there to say?  I suppose that I think that dating abuse (and most kinds of abuse) is caused by abusers who lack confidence in themselves.  They feel that they must be abusive as a way of showing that they are powerful and important.

mstultz72 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Though I am not blind to the problem, I don't see dating as being abusive.  More and more, groups of young people go out together.  Mass dating and mixing are becoming more common.

Also, date rape awareness is more prevalent now, and girls have more quick access for help than ever before with cell phones.

The only abuse I can see is exclusivity at so young of an age: a kind of Romeo and Juliet syndrome that can lead to suicide, depression, and social/educational side-effects.

ask996 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Whenever our school has a speaker on this topic, the guys leave the assembly feeling resentful. Here’s why: kids realize that it’s wrong; they realize that a man should never put his hand to a woman, nor should he use his tongue to castigate her. However, the very logical point they make is that the speakers have NEVER mentioned the fact that some girls and women are abusive to men. It does not occur with as much frequency, but it should be addressed.

brettd eNotes educator| Certified Educator

One thing that makes this issue extremely difficult is that, for some reason I don't understand, dating abuse isn't always taken as seriously as other forms of abuse.  Whether it's date rape, physical or verbal abuse, often times the authorities are never contacted and no action is taken by either the victim, or if they are a minor, the victim's parents.  I think a more aggressive education and awareness program should be undertaken.

amy-lepore eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I don't know anyone who would be "all for dating abuse".  I agree with post #2...abuse of any kind is, in general, distasteful and a non-issue as far as any Pros that may be given for engaging in this activity.  Anyone who has ever been the victim of any kind of abuse knows (although he/she may not be able to verbalize it depending on the stage of recovery) it is never right or a good thing no matter what reason the abuser gives.

lrwilliams eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I would hope that everyone's opinion about dating abuse would be that it is always wrong! There is never a reason to abuse anyone else, especially if it is someone you are in a "relationship" with.

ask996 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Everyone makes good points. Why is it though, that it's not taken as seriously? It seems almost as if the victim is the one held at fault sometimes.

ik9744 | Student

Dating abuse is wrong and should not be tolerated. Just end the relationship as soon as you can.

crystaltu001 | Student

Dating abuse is super wrong and it is not acceptable. No person deserves this type of abuse and it should be reported right away because it is not right. Some people can commit suicide because of this or end up having issues. People cacn actually go to jail for abusing their partners. 

jess1999 | Student

Dating abuse is wrong and any form of it whether physical or verbal is not acceptable . If someone is being abused by their spouse they should not keep it to them and should try to end the relation as soon as possible . 

zumba96 | Student

Dating Abuse is WRONG. ANY abuse is WRONG. If someone is going through this they need to drop that abuser-partner right away. No one deserves abuse whether verbal or physical. Don't remain in an environment where someone is too scared of themselves and too insecure about their own self that they start to abuse their partner. I would even say tell your parents so you are safe and friends. NO ONE deserves abuse and it needs to be reported no matter what. Don't blame the victim! It's not their fault, it's the abusers. 

dating abuse is wrong. any sort of abuse is wrong and unfortunately there are cases in which the victim is blamed, but the most we can do is teach people to control their anger and talk it out rather then raise fists and hurt the other person verbally or physically. 

akg10143 | Student

i agree with post #7, dating abuse is really overlooked. until someone is killed or put in the hospital.. i think any man that puts his hands on a woman to harm her, is nothing but a sissy, and most likely they would never be man enough to do another man like that. but its not always the men that hit the women, many women tend to beat on their boyfriends. but its really rare that you hear about women beating on men.

epollock | Student

Dating abuse should not be tolerated at all and one should notify either a parent or guardian or notify the authorities that the criminal will be apprehended and punished. It is really important for all victims to speak out about this and bring the person to justice so that they can be punished. When people are silent on issues such and this, then guilty people are free to harm others and the pattern will continue with other people being harmed. It is really important for someone to speak up and tell someone and also to get help immediately so the person being abused can deal with the situation themselves.

atyourservice | Student

It is not ok and should never be allowed. No one should have the right to hurt someone both physically or emotional especially when they are supposed to "Love" this person.

figlover | Student