What would you suggest to improve my thesis?Thoreau calls for people to take action for themselves in "Civil Disobedience" by examining the flaws in both the American government and its citizens;...

What would you suggest to improve my thesis?

Thoreau calls for people to take action for themselves in "Civil Disobedience" by examining the flaws in both the American government and its citizens; morality through personal accounts and current events.

Question is fairly straightfoward. I would prefer help in terms of content (I'm not too sure if it's a good interpretation), but, grammer, anything would be nice. Thanks.

Asked on by aimslin22

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mwestwood | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

Always the use of parallel construction in the thesis aids the reader in understanding the contention of the writer.

That point having been made, you may wish to revise the wording of the thesis, being sure to have parallel construction and three points that will later become the topic sentences of the body paragraphs.

Now, consider the point of Thoreau's night in jail:  He wishes to protest the poll tax that supported slavery as well as to protest the Mexican War, a conquest war aimed at added new slave territories.

Perhaps a revision such as this may work:

In "Civil Disobedience" Thoreau demonstrates a dignified non-compliance with the immoral injunction of civil powers, urging citizens to act against injustice, be non-compliant with majority rule when it ignores the good, and follow one's moral conscience.  [each of the three phrases is an infinitive phrase--parallelism.]

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