What are the things most favored by men in women? Why? And conversely, what are the things most hated by men in women ?

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Ashley Kannan eNotes educator| Certified Educator

The previous post is right.  This question has some significant challenges here.  I would even challenge the premise of the book suggested, though it is really appropriate if this line of thought is going to be presumed.  There is an inherent danger in locking any gender into stratified roles to suggest that "All men do this" and "All women do that."  I think that the human character is far too complex and nuanced with so many influencing contexts that to reduce it to specific things that are done because of solely gender is a dangerous precedent.  It also makes the false association that gender is the defining characteristic within human interaction.  I am not sure that's really valid.  If we simply look at the question, to presume that there is a laundry list of conditions that men look for in women and "check off" and a list of exact behaviors that are "deducted," reduces both genders to automatons that have no real purpose or complexity in consciousness.  I could also argue that it reduces the differences within human beings in the same gender.  Two men could have completely different "things" they favor, which would make the question a bit pointless, at best, or really dangerous, at worst, in my mind.

accessteacher eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Dangerous question here and I have to ask if it is worth my bacon to hazard a response! With any question like this we need to realise that we are dealing with stereotypes and generalisations which are not going to be accurate and fit all examples of men and women. And also, as I am a man I am not the best person to give an accruate and unbiased response, but the nature of your question means that you will never receive an unbiased answer so here goes!

I don't necessarily think this, but traditionally, it is thought that genetically what men look for is women who would make good mothers, carers and nurturers. Darwin would argue that we are trying to propogate our line and so we want women who are going to be good mothers for this purpose. Conversely, therefore, men would not like women who challenge this genetic role nature has given them (arguably) and seek to excel in the workplace and are not nurturing, mother type figures.

When considering gender difference a really good book I have read is Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I have included a link to a summary of it below. Do get other opinons though!

mwestwood eNotes educator| Certified Educator

In concurrence with the second post, it seems more relevant to discuss what people prefer rather than to generalize about male and femal preferences, with gender as the defining characteristic in heterosexual relationships. From observation of many a happy older couple, their friendship seems to be the strongest bond, a bond that is not dictated by gender.  So, perhaps, a compatible personality, a good sense of humor that is similar to the partner's, loyalty, and--above all--honesty are sterling qualities desired by both men and women.

So many studies have been done on the subject of the question; one conclusion drawn is that men seek in women what they lack in themselves and vice versa.  So, compatibility does, indeed, seem to be important as does the idea of the male complementing the female in a relationship.