It is hard to think of Dede as a martyr because she does not do the same things as her sister.s Her lot in life becomes her raising her sister's children along with her mother and remaining in her marriage despite no longer feeling connected to her husband.
Dede makes sure that the children are baptised even as she grieves for her sistes. This is one of her acts as a martyr. She picks up the pieces left behind.
"Then, after all the girls were taken I realized that Jacqueline hadn't been christened."(215)
After her sisters are killed it is Dede who washes them and cleans them for burial.
"I washed up my girls, and dressed them. (307)
Dede has raised the children but continues to be the voice for her sisters long after they are dead. She continues to accept visitors who come to hear the story of the butterflies. Her neice asks her when she will stop and have some peace.
"Of, course, I think I can always stop."(312)
Dede's husband summed the situation up best when he said:
"This is your martyrdon, Dede, to be alive without them." (308)