In this poem, Kipling's speaker outlines for his son the behaviors and attitudes it takes to become a man—in this case, a gentleman in British society. It is good to keep in mind, however, a concept from the Italian Renaissance that lies behind the speaker's advice. This is sprezzatura, which means projecting a nonchalance or effortlessness in everything one does, and in that way, making difficult tasks look easy and natural.

In the first stanza of the poem, the speaker advises his son to cultivate keeping his cool or keeping chill when others around him are losing it. He also advises his son not to repay low behavior with low behavior—don't respond to lies with lies or hate with hate. In other words, to use current parlance, when others go low, you should go high. He advises sprezzatura, too, when he states his son should make this all look natural and effortless:

yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise

In the second stanza, the speaker turns to advising his son to develop self control, as well as an ability to hear the truth and avoid flattery and have grace under pressure. No matter what happens, his son should respond to it with cool equanimity, treating triumph and disaster with the same ease. If his life's work is broken, he should simply quietly and graciously pick up the pieces and rebuild, as if it is costing him no effort:

watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools