What insightful commentary can I make about these two quotes that correspond with my thesis statement? The Quotes: “Harrison plucked the mental handicap from her ear and snapped off her physical...

What insightful commentary can I make about these two quotes that correspond with my thesis statement? 

The Quotes:

“Harrison plucked the mental handicap from her ear and snapped off her physical handicaps with marvelous delicacy. Last of all he removed her mask. She was blindingly beautiful”

AND

"And then, neutralizing gravity with love and pure will, they remained suspended in air inches below the ceiling, and they kissed each other for a long time"

And this is my thesis statement: When evil saturates a situation, one's perspective will be positively altered and their morality evaluated.

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shake99 | Teacher | (Level 3) Senior Educator

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As for the first quotation: 

“Harrison plucked the mental handicap from her ear and snapped off her physical handicaps with marvelous delicacy. Last of all he removed her mask. She was blindingly beautiful”

I would recommend saying something about what the purpose of the mask was. Keep in mind the main idea behind the story—that all people should be forced to be “average,” and if they are aren’t average on their own, they’ll be handicapped in whatever ways are necessary to make them average. So, with that in mind, why does she need a mask? What would this mean to Bergeron? What does the mask deprive society of? I’d also say something about the words “marvelous delicacy.” Why would Bergeron be doing this with marvelous delicacy?

As for your thesis statement, it’s pretty difficult to understand. That may be partly because it’s taken out of context, but I really think you need to simplify it. What does it mean to have ones “perspective positively altered”? Why would their morality be evaluated, who is doing the evaluating, who is “they”? I’m sure it makes sense to you because it’s in your head with all the other information you’re thinking about, but I don’t understand it.

As for your second quotation:

"And then, neutralizing gravity with love and pure will, they remained suspended in air inches below the ceiling, and they kissed each other for a long time"

I would focus on the extraordinary ability that these two characters have demonstrated. How does society react to this ability? Do they celebrate and develop it? Do they pretend it doesn’t exist? Why?

Sources:

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