The evidence presented in Meeting at the Crossroads to support the authors' conclusions rests in the changes of the girls they interview as they move from adolescence to adulthood and try to fit in with the ideals expected of them by their families, men, and society. The conclusion was that girls slowly lose their voices as they grow and adjust to better meet the expectations presented to them.
One of the statements that Lyn Mikel Brown and Carol Gilligan make early in the book is that "adolescent girls and adult women silence themselves or are silenced in relationships rather than risk open conflict and disagreement that might lead to isolation.” They see evidence that supports this in that the girls are less forthcoming, less happy, and less confident as they age.
At eight years old, the girls are willing to talk openly with interviewers, expressing both negative and positive feelings about their experiences. Later, though, when they are older, they are "willing to silence themselves rather than risk the loss of a relationship." A relationship in this context can mean a personal connection with someone.
Brown and Gilligan argue that girls want to "reduce conflict in relationships. [They] associate arguing with disconnection." That is one of the reasons why Victoria, who is abused when she is not at school, is unable to fully articulate her feelings. When she manages to do so, she immediately takes it back and defaults to insulting herself. She does not want to cause a conflict that damages the interviewer's perception of her—or her relationship with her family.
Another piece of evidence that supports the conclusions of Brown and Gilligan is the case of Jessie, who is described as a whistleblower in her earliest interviews. She discusses things she sees as unjust openly and is passionate about what she wants. However, Brown and Gilligan note that as "girls become young women [they learn to] dismiss their experience and modulate their voices." Jessie does this as she gets older and is unable to fully discuss the incompatibility of two animals that she could easily discuss as a child. She curbs her opinions and focuses on being kind rather than resolving the issue.
In the end, the story of Sonia, an African American girl, is perhaps one of the most important in the book. When she was interviewed by a white interviewer, she did not open up or fully share her experience. By later matching her with a black interviewer, she was better able to discuss and explain her experience and point of view. From these experiences, Brown and Gilligan concluded that there is a way for women to help girls navigate the tribulations of growing up without losing their ability to speak of their own experience, feel confident, and stand up for themselves.
In Meeting at the Crossroads, Brown and Gilligan explain that as girls become women they learn to silence themselves and modulate how they express their own experience in order to conform to societal pressures and model themselves after the women in their lives. The evidence they provide comes from years of interviews with a diverse array of girls. They are able to see the changes in these young women firsthand.