What do you think of my speech? Hi, For English, we have to compose a speech where we read a novel called 'A Bridge to Wiseman's Cove' by James Moloney and compare it to a film of our choice (in my case, A Christmas Carol) which is based on the concept of the search for identity. In this speech, we have to talk about one character, and their search for identity in the film (plus the influence/s), as well as the characters and events that change who they are. We also have to talk about the film techniques used that are used in the film that help us understand the character of our choices' search for identity further. Finally, we have to compare characters from the film to the novel (only one each) and discuss their similarities. Any feedback and criticism on speech would be greatly appreciated, so I can work on it further and improve! _ As we age, we believe that we begin to understand our identity. However, this idea is rarely true. Our search for identity never ends, as we constantly have new experiences that change who we are. In Robert Zemeckis’ film A Christmas Carol based on the novella by Charles Dickens, this is illustrated by the character Ebenezer Scrooge. Like Harley from James Moloney’s novel A Bridge to Wiseman’s Cove, Scrooge changes, and transforms his life from a parsimonious man, to a caring person. Through the many events and characters that influence Scrooges’ identity, accentuated through... Continued next post.  

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Good work. A lot of good points here. I would echo the concerns of other editors that you need to think about including more analysis on A Bridge to Wiseman's Cove. If that is the text you have been asked to look at, you need to spend more time making sure you think about the comparisons between this text and your other chosen text. Otherwise, this is an impressive speech. Well done!

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I'd ask if being able to fly with Scrooge, thanks to the 3-D, really helps tell the story of Scrooge's changes in the story.

This is certainly a film technique that helps the audience identify with the point of view of the protagonist, which you point out.Is it also a technique that helps tell the story of the protagonist's metamorphosis?

Your discussion of the high angle camera shot seems very on-point and well-analyzed though.

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I certainly agree that you should spend more time on analyzing A Bridge to Wiseman's Cove, as it leaves this otherwise fantastic essay a little out of balance. Another thing to think about, perhaps in this essay, perhaps for any that you write in the future, is that generally picking themes and points of analysis out to discuss within the essay is generally a better approach to comparison and contrast than describing one and then the other of the books. In other words, pick 2-3 themes and base a paragraph on each one, telling how they compare and contrast. Again, this is a very good essay that I certainly wouldn't suggest changing very much, but in the future you may want to consider how the form of your essay affects the depth of your analysis.

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I'm impressed!  Here is some feedback on specific sentences; please note suggested changes.

In Robert Zemeckis’ film A Christmas Carol based on the novella by Charles Dickens, this idea is illustrated by the character Ebenezer Scrooge.

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Scrooge changes; he goes from being a parsimonious man to being a caring person.

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Ebenezer Scrooge is the epitome of a tight-fisted miser whose life is influenced by a desire for personal gain

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one of the foils of the film who highlights

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The Ghost shows how Scrooge became the person he is, taking him on a personal flight through his own history

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Because the film is in 3D, the audience can fly along with Scrooge.

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how people view Scrooge: as a man who resembles an ‘ass’.

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This spirit gives Scrooge self-awareness, which assists in his search for identity.

 

and so on.

 

Hope this feedback helps!

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I haven't read the Moloney novel so I can't comment on that, but overall, I very much like this speech.  I have nothing serious that I would change.  I have one comment and a few places where I think you should change wording in minor ways.

My comment is that your discussion of the book is very short compared to your discussion of the film.  Will this be a problem for you -- will your teacher be unhappy about this?

A few things I'd change:

Where you say "transforms his life from a parsimonious man, to a caring person."  His life is not a parsimonious man so you can't transform his life in that way.  You can "transform his life from that of a ... to that of a ..."  or you can "transform him from..."

In the line "which awake negative emotions within Scrooge," "awake" should be "awaken."

Later, you say "juxtaposed to."  In American English, at least, that would be "juxtaposed with."

Finally, you say "he doesn’t want the future of being an avaricious miser."  This sounds awkward to me.  I'd say "the future in which he is an..."

Overall, though, I like this a great deal.

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I am not sure about the beginning. It does have a clear start, but I think you can narrow down the new experiences idea. It is not just new experiences, but a specific kind of life-altering experience that really changes a person. Also, in Scrooge's case at least, he did not choose to go on a journey of self-discovery. He was forced.
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