First, a couple of thoughts about your emotional state: a) DON'T GIVE UP! b) Even though you should not give up, you must TAKE IT EASY a little bit. From your message, I can tell that you are quite intelligent, and a pretty good writer. So cool off, relax, and let things take their own course. I am confident that you will find a path to success. It may be completely different than the path you imagine, but you will find it.
Next, a couple of thoughts on note-taking.
The biggest mistake that most students make is that they try to write down everything that the teacher says, and they try to do so in complete, correct sentences. The key to good note-taking is to listen carefully for the most important point and then write it in a few words, without worrying about proper grammar, spelling, etc.
Let's imagine that your history professor gives a lecture on communism. She might deliver the following two sentences to define the term "communism":
a) a form of socialism that abolishes private ownership
b) a political theory favoring collectivism in a classless
If you try to copy all of that, you'll soon be lost. But you can easily write the following:
Comunism: no priv. ownership, no social classes
Notice that not all the words are spelled corectly, and that there is no complete sentence.
Another tip is to try to pick up on the structure of what the speaker is saying.
For example, if the professor is comparing and contrasting capitalism and communism, then you can organize your notes in a simple chart. Just draw a line down the middle of the page and label one column communism and the other capitalism.
If the teacher is describing a process, such as how a bill is moved through Congress, then it's good idea to number the steps.
Sometimes using pictures can be helpful. If the professor is describing the accomplishments and personality of George Washington, draw a quick picture of G.W. Then, write short phrases about him around the picture. If an item corresponds to a particular part of his body, put the phrase there. For example, if the professor mentions that G.W. was a land surveyor, draw a tape measure next to his hand, and write the words land surveyor.