What is the best explanation for this: "I love you just the way you are when not being just the way you are"?

Expert Answers
lynnebh eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I think this statement is saying that the person is offering unconditional love. He/she loves the other person no matter how that person is "being" because there are only two choices of "being" - being WHO you are and being who you are NOT - and no matter which one of these states the person is currently in, the lover loves him/her regardless. Sometimes we act in the way that we are, and sometimes we act in ways that are the opposite of the way we are. If a person were only to love us when we were acting normally, what kind of love would that be? Conditional! Who wants to be loved when we must act a certain way? Don't we want to be loved no matter what way we act? Why should love depend on that? Because the verb in the second part of the phrase is in the "progressive" tense, it indicates that it is possible that a person is not acting "the way he/she is" in the current moment, but nevertheless, the lover loves the person anyway because what is MOST important is the intrinsic nature of the loved one, "just the way you are" - whether you are being who you are or you are being not who you are for the moment.

I hope this makes sense - sounds pretty philosophical, huh? To simplify: unconditional love.

discussion | Student

Yes, maybe "just the way you are" at the moment is difficult or annoying, but the person realizes you are a good person overall.

I don't know if this is from a work that could help put the quotation in context....but taken alone, two other ideas came to mind.

The first idea that popped into my head is respect for a higher-self.

In other words:

I love you the way you are when you are not just being a regular old predictable being; I love who you are when you are reaching your fullest, unique potential. You don't settle for mediocrity and justify all your actions and opinions; you strive to grow and evolve daily. You would never condone your flaws with "That's just the way I am." You aren't "just you" but the best version of you.

Another idea that popped into my head follows along these lines: "I realize that I love you just the way you are when I see you pretending to be something else." Therefore, when you aren't being yourself and only wearing a facade, that's when I miss and love the true you the most.

Those the only interpretations that came to me immediately.


little-alice | Student

From not knowing the situation, I can probably decipher that; the person loves the person that the speaker is talking to/about, but, possibly not loving the mood that the reciever is having.

Or, there is also the "I just talk to hear my voice" thing kind of going on. :)

With Love and Care,