Through its portrayal of human experience, Shakespeare's Hamlet reinforces the significance of loyalty.What is human experience about? How can I expand the loyalty with other concepts like...

Through its portrayal of human experience, Shakespeare's Hamlet reinforces the significance of loyalty.

What is human experience about?

How can I expand the loyalty with other concepts like identity,belief?

What other word do you think would replace loyalty

Expert Answers
clairewait eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I'm guessing this is the thesis statement for an analysis of Hamlet.  There are certainly some questions that come up with this thesis - and my first thought is that the entire thing is a bit broad.

I don't think you should scrap this entire thesis.  I encourage you to stick with half of it and brainstorm some more on the other half.

Questions to consider (in thinking about revision):

  1. Human experience?  This could mean virtually anything.  Are you talking about the death of Hamlet's father as the catalyst for the entire story?  Perhaps you want to say the common human experience of losing a loved one... or something about death...
  2. If you go with the idea that King Hamlet Sr.'s death is what sparked all other events in the play you might want to consider that his death didn't CAUSE the disloyalty - it simply revealed it.
  3. I do think the "significance of loyalty" part could be easily proven through several details in the story - this is the part I'd keep.  So, why, in Hamlet, is loyalty important?  What happened when there was a lack of loyalty?

I realize these questions are still scratching the surface - but my main advice right now is that you thesis also only scratches the surface.  It is a common weakness in high school papers - thesis statements that are so broad, virtually any book or experience in the world could confirm them.  Make this specific to Hamlet.  Of course loyalty is important.  Everyone already believes this.  Why is it important in the play?  And - how does Shakespeare reveal that?  Not just "human experience" - but what?