as a teenager, we normally feel the need to have more of freedom..... n being a teenager.. i m also in d same oodle of confusion. therefore, I wanted to noe how much freedom is expected by children at this age n how much freedom parents should normally allow their teenage kids and why??
I have to say that one answer cannot be given for this. Children should have more freedoms as they grow up. That said, children who do not prove themselves ready for more freedoms should not be given them. For example, if a child has a problem following rules, they should not be rewarded by given them more freedoms. Only when the child is able to prove that they can handle the freedoms they have already been given should more be added.
Parents know their children and know if they are trustworthy and can handle freedom. However, as a parent and a high school teacher, I know that children also crave boundaries. Therefore, there is a fine line between freedom and rules. I think as a parent, one should discuss expectations with teens in a clear way. For example, be home by whatever time and call if there is a problem. Parents definitely should not be overly indulgent if a teen's safety is at risk. It will work if there are clear expectations and the parent also is understanding of the fact that a teen is maturing into an adult and sometimes, they need to let go of the reins.
I think the parents should be able to trust what their own children do and give them enough responsibilities that they can grow into successful and responsible adults. Teenagers, in response, should appreciate the amount of trust and faith they are getting from their parents and act according to their common sense. They should be able to express their thoughts and feelings without being restricted by the higher authority in order to be nurtured into more mature beings. However parental guidance and restriction is necessary when the teens are lost or misguided by their overly liberal surroundings.
A parents considerations when thinking about giving their teens freedom are primarily:
- How can I keep them safe?
- What will help prepare them for life as an adult?
There is almost no chance that giving a teen unlimited freedom will keep them safe. Most teens have a feeling of immortality that only a near disaster can shake them out of (I know I did).
As far as preparing for life as an adult is concerned, some teens do a good job with this, but most really expect life to come knocking at their door (I know I did). If you give teens the freedom to prepare or not prepare in whatever way they see fit, most teens will waste a lot of time and fall behind.
With all that said, teens should be able to earn greater freedoms as they get older and show maturity.
As a teacher of teenage students, I can really see the benefit in allowing students the freedom of choice, by offering them several different options and letting them choose the one that best suits them. This way, they still feel independent, but I can also narrow down their decisions by limiting the choices. The same principle applies with parenting as well. I can give my children choices and help them become responsible decision makers, but also still have some control over their choices.
It definitely depends on the situation and the teenager. For the most part, I think that a parent should trust a child until he/she gives them reason not to, but there should be boundaries. Curfews are important because they help keep a teenager safe. Teenagers shouldn't have the freedom to stay out all night wherever they want. They shouldn't have the freedom to do whatever they want online without any kind of supervision or limits. It is important for parents to give a teenager more freedom as he/she proves that he/she can handle that freedom. It creates trust on both sides.
During the teenage years, children are growing into adults. They are naturally beginning to pull away from their parents and other authority figures. They are trying to become more self-reliant and find their own identity. I think every teenager is going to wish for more freedom no matter how much they actually have. It is part of this stage of development. The truth is that most teenagers aren't ready for a lot of the freedoms that they ask for. On the flip side, a teen who isn't allowed any freedom will not learn how to stand on their own. Teens should be allowed enough freedom to fulfill this developmental stage but not so much freedom that they are alone without a safety net.
Freedom, for teenagers, seems to often be a relative freedom. Teens want to be less controlled by parents and teachers and have their lives shaped less by the set schedules and expectations of school.
Parents can't eliminate or adjust the school schedule very much and schools can't influence parents' rules and expectations for their children. This means that the question of freedom is not an easy one to answer.
To me, there is no way to answer this in the abstract. Teens should have as much freedom as they can handle. But this means different things for different teens. Perhaps you could ask about specific issues, such as curfews or spending money so that we could talk about this in a more focused way.
I think it depends on the teenager, and on the situation the teenager is in. Some teenagers can be given more freedom than others, because some can take it more serious than others. The older the child or teenager gets, the more freedom it should have. He/she should know how to 'handle the freedom'- that he or she isn't going to be out the whole night without telling anyone, things like that. I think teenagers should kind of do what they want themselves, as it's their own life, but parents can say something about their children if they think they do something which they really don't like. For the rest I believe teenagers know what they're doing.