I really need help with writing a poem!?My poem have to include a simile and personification. Here is my poem: (please fix my mistake and add some simile and personification.) thanks! I wake...

I really need help with writing a poem!?

My poem have to include a simile and personification.

Here is my poem: (please fix my mistake and add some simile and personification.) thanks!

I wake up to calming silence and feel the warmth upon my skin
humming birds flutter with all their might.

Through the lattice spread of leaves
I peer into the deep blue of the sky

Let the world go by,
Enough of the hustle and bustle
The morning has just begun
Every care I will delete.

Summer mornings are my favorite because they let me grow
It feeds my understandings and gets deep within my soul.

 

Asked on by terepark1

2 Answers | Add Yours

coachingcorner's profile pic

coachingcorner | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Senior Educator

Posted on

This poem has a lovely mood of summer mornings and the joy and hope that they bring. I can see a couple of places where similes may fit nicely without spoiling the natural rhythm and original metre too much. For example, how about closing your eyes and imagining humming bird wings? What are they like to you? To some people they might be pretty and delicate (like the wind ruffling through a flower's petals) - to other people they might be more strong and powerful (like an aeroplane propeller.) Think about which image fits the mood of your romantically set poem, and then shorten the simile you picked so it flows nicely and smoothly with the rest of the text. Move down the poem looking for other mentioned objects and do the same.

Top Answer

mkcapen1's profile pic

mkcapen1 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 3) Valedictorian

Posted on

 

I wake up in the calming silence,

Feeling warmth upon my skin,

 

Hummingbirds flutter with all their might,

Through the lattice spread of leaves,

Like blossoms popping in and out,

A colorful illusion in the moment,

 

I peer into the deep blue of the sky,

Letting the world go by,

 

I say enough of the hustle and bustle,

The morning has just begun,

She calls to all to wake and rise,

Making me  delete every care,

 

 

Summer mornings,

My favorite,

Feeding my understandings,

Searing deep within my soul.

 

I really liked your poem.  I did a little rearranging of the words and some editing, but not much.  The feelings are there and you were able to help me to visualize the summer morning.  I like the way that you painted a picture.

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