poetryCan I have some comments on this poem please
I think that your poem speaks to concerns and feelings that many people have. I must agree that the form of the poem makes it a little difficult to read, but (at the same time) I feel as though tha poem's form gives the reader a feeling of really being on the roller coaster of life and having everything happening at once.
The poem reminds me of what I write when something tramatic has happened, when I am overwhelmed, or when I have simply not written in a long time and have A LOT to get out onto the paper. True?
Other than that, it seems to be a calling for one to find their own identity. I may be wrong, but poetic interpretation enables the reader to see what they want in a piece sometimes- this is not always what the author intended.
I like a lot of the aspects of this poem, its basic themes of living with passion, and the roll coaster of emotions and regrets, that is life. However, the mechanics and the structure seem a little disorganized, it seems to repeat itself without reason. I would recommend shortening it and clarifying the speakers mood and voice, I'm still uncertain if the speaker is giving advice to others or if this is more of an anthem for his or herself, she/he seems angry but I'm still not sure why.
I can relate to this poem. I understand what is not understandable. I too "have forgiven unforgivable mistakes." I too have "replaced irreplaceable people." I recognize the unrecognizable elements in your poem. There is a quality that keeps the reader's attention. I agree with the above post in that your lines need to be broken into stanzas. That would help the reader comprehend more easily.
This is interesting. Through the last line this poem equates "living" and "life" with "love." all throughout is a chronicle of successes and failures with the will to and emotion of love. The last line switches topics from love and loving to life and living:
And Life is too much
To be insignificant
The poem is a bit hard to read in this form. With more, shorter lines and lines broken up into stanzas, it would be a little easier to follow. It does have excellent raw emotion. There is a depth of feeling and angst there. I would consider revising the word choice in some cases, but where is up to you!
I made this poem for a friend who lost a loved one and got mad at me when I told her that it will get better with time... she thought about killing herself, and it angered me that a person can actually think about suicide because you lost a person... every body in life went through or is going through a drama... I believe that God prepares each individual for a purpose... maybe the weak goes to pass but it is all worth living....
LIVING I have forgiven unforgivable mistakes,
I have replaced irreplaceable people
And forgotten unforgettable ones,
I have acted on impulse,
I have been deceived by people
Who I thought incapable of deceit,
And I also deceived some.
I have held someone in my arms,
So I could protect.
I have laughed when I was not suppose to.
I have made eternal friends,
I have loved and have been loved.
But I have also been rejected.
I also have been loved,
But was not able to love in return.
I have cried and jumped of joy,
I have lived for love
And made eternal promises,
But I have had my heart broken
So many times!
I have cried listening to music
Or just by watching some pictures,
I have called just to hear a voice,
I have already fallen in love with a smile,
I even thought that I was dying from nostalgia and ...
I have been scare to lose someone special
(That I did end up losing) But,
I did survive!
And I am still living!
And life, I can’t stop loving it.
And neither should you
You should love living it,
What is really good?
Is to fight with persuasion and motivation.
Kiss life and live with passion,
Lose with class and win by daring,
Because the world belongs to those who dare
And Life is too much
To be insignificant.