Great job! To make your paragraph better, you will want to italicize The Matrix in the first sentence and put a comma after “developments” and “sheep,” because there is a natural pause there. It makes the sentence less cumbersome. There should also be a comma after “intelligence” in the second sentence. Also in this sentence, it is not clear who is inventing the Matrix. Is it the brothers or society? If it is the brothers, I would end the sentence at enslavement and begin a new sentence with a description of the brothers creating the Matrix.
This leads the brothers to create the Matrix, which shows what technological advancements are like in real life and how our desire for truth can tremendously backfire on us.
In the next sentence, “close up” should be “close-up,” and the sentence should end at “there.” The next sentence would then begin with “this.” With these minor changes, your paragraph will grammatically be in much better shape!
To improve the content of the paragraph, you can begin with a clearer thesis statement. It would be better to make a clearer connection between the technology in the world the brothers live in and what the movie is trying to tell us about our lives. Also, by the W brothers are you referring to the Wachowski Brothers? If so, you should use the name and explain that they are directors. It is not clear whether you are referring to characters or filmmakers here.
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