Given the selection below, how can the sentence structure be enhanced?Subsequently, he went back to Iraq. During the period of 1965 and 1968, [Removed for Internet security.]

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Ashley Kannan | Middle School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

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Sometimes, sentence structure in writing comes down to finding where sentences can be combined and where they can be shortened.  In the selection, I like the opening sentence.  It's a good topic sentence that helps to establish a particular frame of reference in the selection.  I would simply say, "From 1965 to 1968" to open the next sentence.  The UNESCO reference would be something I would add through a comma after University of Baghdad and say, "a joint project with UNESCO."  After this, I would include a sentence like, "Anmar taught different subjects during this time."  Following that, I would go into these subjects.  You need a transition at this point, something like, "As a result of Anmar's wide courseload, he established the Internal Combustion and Fluid Mechanics Lab."  I think that this title might have to be reworked.  Finally, the last sentence might need to be moved to another setting because your discussion in this paragraph has been focused on Anwar's professional work and the personal inclusion might need its own setting.

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