Please give me suggestions about how to improve this movie review.Conclusion: The main concept demonstrated throughout this episode is how breakdowns of relationships and facing emotional issues...

Please give me suggestions about how to improve this movie review.

Conclusion:

The main concept demonstrated throughout this episode is how breakdowns of relationships and facing emotional issues can contribute to obesity. In addition to this, the show focuses on how society’s perception on people gaining weight is rather shallow. Dick’s and Tommy’s struggles are portrayed in an entertaining way and are something many viewers can relate to. It includes a great cast and a creative script that grows more humorous and stimulating by the scene. 3rd Rock from the Sun is a fantastic oddball sitcom and it its greatly recommended for adults and teen who want a good laugh but also possibly learn something new about humans. This episode is a comedy mixed with a touch of sci-fi and some sharp observations about the society’s attitudes and behaviours.

Asked on by rainbow224

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Kristen Lentz | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

For the conclusion, open the paragraph with a strong, concluding transition word.  The link below has a list of some different types and uses.

Sentence 3: Avoid passive voice "are portrayed" and reword just to say "the show portrays..." Also on sentence 3, try to reword to avoid ending with the preposition 'to.'

Sentence 4: Do not start a sentence with the word 'it.'  Reword to give your sentence a more specific subject.

Sentence 5: You have "it its" after the 'and'.  Make teen plural. I recommend changing the order of this sentence like this:  "Recommended for adults and teens who want a good laugh (omit the part about learning about humans), 3rd Rock from the Sun is a..."

Final sentence concludes the review nicely.  Omit "the" from "the society."  It's just 'society.' 

Overall, the concluding paragraph connects well with the previous body paragraphs and summarizes the earlier criteria nicely.

Sources:

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