This analysis of one specific show does support your thesis, but it constitutes a form of false induction, in that one episode of one show is insufficient evidence for a general claim. Many of your claims, although they seem intuitively correct, are very general and unsupported by specific evidence. Part of the nature of academic scholarship is that claims must be proven rather than just asserted. Rather than make a series of very general claims, you might spend more space doing close analysis of the show you are discussing.
The language of the paper strives to be complex, often at the expense of coherence and readability. You might want to work with the Writing Centre at your university on prose style.