How can this essay be improved? Violence on many television shows is used to amuse the viewers, but the harmful consequences of media violence are rarely acknowledged. Television broadcasts the false implicit message to children that violence is funny. This is apparent in the episode of The Simpsons, Cape Feare, where Lisa laughs tremendously when a laser beam slices Scratchy to pieces. The fact that violence is humorous is also portrayed in the scene where Homer finds humour in the threatening letter meant for Bart. Such scenes lead children to conclude that violence is not objectionable and it is acceptable to threaten or harm others even as a joke. Also, in some cases, watching violence for entertainment means develops an appetite effect which builds a desire to watch even more.  Many television channels advocate violence on a daily basis and send misrepresentative messages and concepts about the world revolving around everyone.  A message that is portrayed through media is that violence is everywhere. This can be witnessed in Cape Feare where Bart continues to feel insecure as his interaction with people reveal to be threatening to him. This idea is also illustrated in the scene where Bart receives a threatening letter at his home saying, “I’m going to kill you”.  Such views create a ‘mean world syndrome’ where children begin to believe that the world is more dangerous than it actually is. It has a victim effect on them where it increases their anxiety and introduces a culture of cruelty. 

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This analysis of one specific show does support your thesis, but it constitutes a form of false induction, in that one episode of one show is insufficient evidence for a general claim. Many of your claims, although they seem intuitively correct, are very general and unsupported by specific evidence. Part of the nature of academic scholarship is that claims must be proven rather than just asserted. Rather than make a series of very general claims, you might spend more space doing close analysis of the show you are discussing.

The language of the paper strives to be complex, often at the expense of coherence and readability. You might want to work with the Writing Centre at your university on prose style.

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