Please give me suggestions about how to improve this essay about portrayals of obesity and weight on TV. In this episode, the creator makes it evident about society’s attitudes towards weight....
Please give me suggestions about how to improve this essay about portrayals of obesity and weight on TV.
In this episode, the creator makes it evident about society’s attitudes towards weight. Firstly, physical appearance is very important to most people today and it led to people becoming judgmental towards obesity without looking at the real issue. Even though it’s a play on words, it can be witnessed in the scene where Dick tells to one of the employers of the fitness support group, “That Fat loser over there helped me”. Secondly, this episode shows how society’s attitudes and behaviours are different towards men and women in terms of food and dieting. This is portrayed in the scene where Dick asks Sally if he looks fat and Sally comments, “Just be thankful, at least you’re a man, you guys can get away with it”. This proves society’s stress with appearances and body image for women to be skinny but not so much for men. The creator of ‘Moby Dick’ is therefore very aware and critical about society’s image and judgments with body image and appearances.
You’ve done a good job here of having a topic sentence and a concluding sentence and having the rest of the paragraph support the topic sentence. That’s very good. My comments, then, will have to do with wording only since the content of the paragraph is good.
In the first sentence, you can’t say “makes it evident about…” The “it” in that...
(The entire section contains 190 words.)
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