Love and hate and goalsIs it possible, to love or hate to achieve a goal. I care for a girl so, im going to shower her with all of the beautiful things in life. or I care for a girl so im going...

Love and hate and goals

Is it possible, to love or hate to achieve a goal.

I care for a girl so, im going to shower her with all of the beautiful things in life.


I care for a girl so im going to shower her with all the harsh things in life.

which is better, is one better or is this a just another

Expert Answers
durbanville eNotes educator| Certified Educator

All good advice above. When you love someone, you show your appreciation by (maybe) giving gifts and compliments, etc.

When you want someone to love you and you are attracted to her giving her a gift will get her attention and show her that you are a kind and generous person; that is as long as the gift comes from the heart.  So, it's great to give a give (and obviously to receive one) as long as you are genuine. It is more of an insult to give a gift for the wrong reasons. In many cultures, gift-giving was and still is an essential element of communication, so never underestimate its value, just show respect for its status.

Eventually, that girl will probably see the lack of sincerity and the gift-giving could actually become the problem rather than the solution!

Achieving goals by using your emotions - especially those as strong as love and hate-  can also be a problem as rational decisions may then escape you. Remember, making the world a better place (an essential goal for us all) is not likely to be achieved by being mean to anyone so never be harsh without good reason!

Do  not let any of this advice put you off being spontaneous as that is a great characteristic to have. Just take care with your emotions.


stolperia eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Let's be careful to not confuse "love" with "infatuation" or "hate" with "dislike" or "disagreement".

"Love" includes a whole spectrum of emotions and responses to different situations and circumstances. If one truly loves another, showers of wonderful presents are not necessary because the emotion of tenderness and affection goes much deeper than the superficial acquisition of things. "Infatuation", on the other hand, can be defined as "a foolish and usually extravagant passion." Showering another with all the beautiful things in life may bring about wonderful positive responses - as long as the goodies keep coming. When the presents stop arriving, the attitude may change.

If you care for a girl and are interested in seeing if true love is present, you need to spend more time getting to know the girl, sharing experiences and reactions and learning about each other, without worrying about tangible presents to attract her. If she doesn't respond to you with affection based on who you are and how you make her feel, bribing her with wonderful gifts won't result in true love.

pohnpei397 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I think that you are asking a number of different things here.

First, it is clearly possible to achieve one's goals through love or through hate.  Political leaders are often able to achieve their goals by trying to get their followers to hate a particular group of people.  (Hitler is a clear example of this.)  We use love to achieve our goals (like the goal of happiness) all the time.

Now, as far as the examples of the girl, I really don't see how "showering her with harsh things" would ever be a means to showing love.  On the other hand, I sort of reject the idea of showering her with beautiful things as well.  To me, that sort of makes her into a passive object.  I'd want to give the girl my love, not a bunch of stuff that she and I could work together to get.

mizzwillie eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I believe that giving things to someone to prove love is an error in understanding what love really is.  To love someone is not about things but about the person.  To love someone is to support them and help them strive to be a better person. To be together is to encourage them to be a strong whole person without you, but with you, they will know the strength the bond between you provides to face the roller coaster that is life.  To feel hate is a strong emotion while apathy is the absence of reaction which to me is the opposite of love.  If you love this girl, set her free to love you on her own, not because of the things you may give her.  Life together is too hard to do it without freely choosing each other.

litteacher8 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

If you love someone, you should be kind to the person and give the person attention.  You should neither shower her with gifts nor treat her harshly.  Don’t try to shield her from the horrors of the world, but be there for her when she needs you.  Most people actually just need someone to listen to them, support them, and care about them.  That is what love really is.  Love is not material things or correction.  Love is simply being there.

Love is different for different people.  We all have what we need, and it changes depending on where we are in our lives. If you listen to a person, you are more likely to be able to give the person what is needed at that time.

e-martin eNotes educator| Certified Educator

If you are upset with the fact that you have feelings you cannot control, this is not the fault of the person you have feelings for. We are each and all responsible for our own feelings. Accepting the way we feel about others is something we are all challenged to do and this acceptance is a necessary, healthy step on the path to emotional maturity. 

Hating your own feelings is not as productive as acknowledging how you feel and strategizing around the reality of your emotions. Acting in resentment is almost never worthwhile.

Jessica Pope eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I don't believe it's really possible to achieve a goal through love or hate. Those are emotions and while they are very strong emotions, emotions are not really the basis for achieving goals. Achieving goals has to do with habits and with the structures of support you put around you. Moreover, character plays a big role. If you've got the traits of determination, strength of will, etc. then you'll be able to achieve your goals no matter what the motivating emotional factor may be. 

Lorraine Caplan eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I certainly agree with the second response! Furthermore, if your goal is to get the girl, and showering her with beautiful things is what you need to do to get her, she is not worth having in the first place. 

user1450001 | Student

And doing harsh things with anybody to make him/her learn better is not the duty of human beings. In love there is nothing to shower like beautiful or harsh things. Love itself is the beauty and get enhanced when you are truly "natural" in love. - Love always does what the love realy is.

So, one should not try to use mind in frustrations and even should not try to overpower the soul as only soul can bring the real ressolution of the course.

user1450001 | Student

Yes, one can achieve goal through love as love is the greatest power in this universe and beyond but the base of love has no connections with any other matter than love itself. 

And- there is nothing like hate in this universe when you realy understand love. yes ofcourse, many factors of our surroundings and relations do affects us which results either into achievement or failure but by hating someone intentionaly won't help anyone in any matter. Infact it may cause more frustration instead of a true ressolution.