paragraph: What do the discussions regarding the war show about Phineas and Gene?Yesterday I asked for help on a topic sentence about the above paragraph. My paragraph shows that  Finny lies and...

paragraph: What do the discussions regarding the war show about Phineas and Gene?

Yesterday I asked for help on a topic sentence about the above paragraph. My paragraph shows that  Finny lies and says that the war is not real because he can no longer participate yet he secretly makes every effort to enlist because he want to do his duty. Gene wants to join the army but does not  because he is loyal to Finny and wants to stay and help him.

The response given was a topic sentence showing that the discussions revealed unattractive attributes.

However, I believe that it shows both unattractive and attractive attributes. I don't know how to write this in a topic sentence.

I am definitely wanting to make a judgement. Can anyone offer a suggestion?

Asked on by thom111

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missy575's profile pic

missy575 | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

I know you are kindly responding to my suggestion of the word 'unattractive'. I also gave you the word 'complex' as an alternative idea for a topic sentence. To me, having to lie is unattractive... thus I used that word. But I see your point with the admirable in Finny's purpose for lying.

You sound like a intelligent enough student to put this together on your own because you know what you think. I hope you go with an idea that truly reflects your own thought.

These ideas you've presented though all seem to me to focus on purpose. Finny wants to serve because he is an athlete and a strategist. He likely has ideas. Gene doesn't know so much about what he wants it seems. He was following Brinker when Brinker wanted to go, and following Finny when Finny needed him to stay. Maybe writing a sentence about their varied purposes for enlisting in the war revealed something about their friendship. Obviously Gene had a loyalty for Finny or he would have gone off to war. Finny's hiding of his true feelings for so long must show something about him. What do you think it means?

mkcapen1's profile pic

mkcapen1 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 3) Valedictorian

Posted on

I don't find Finny's response towards war to be negative.  If anything Finny was quite noble in his effort to want to serve his country.  For Finny serving his country was an important step into manhood.  His was tragic that he was unable to be accepted into any branch but at the time of the war people with injuries/disabilities could not serve.  Since then the military has become more lenient under certain circumstances and they no longer put an injured veteran out automatically like they did in the past.

I think both boys wanted to be in the military because they were patriotic.  However, Gene never served because the war ended before it was time for him to be able to enlist following completion of school.

I hope this helps.

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