Does the following paragraph meet an excellent standard for year 10 English? How does the theme of power relate to the play Macbeth?
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Your paragraph apparently exists within a wider context with presumably other themes present in Macbeth and a suitable introductory paragraph and conclusion. Your words are authoritative and persuasive and your vocabulary is good.
1. Do be aware of grammatical errors and punctuation such as those pointed out below.
- Capitalize all the proper nouns (the names)
- ...as a result OF (not for)
- ...TO commit the evil deed (not too)
- In your sentence beginning "Furthermore..." use a full stop after "moral constraints." Rearrange the following sentence as it is incomplete. You could say something like "Macbeth and Lady Macbeth strive to ensure that Macbeth is king, a goal fueled by their lust for power which will ensure their status in the kingdom" (rather than society, perhaps).
- List should be lust
- Number outs should be numerous
2. There are a few points that you should consider including or amending in your paragraph such as
- Lady Macbeth's thirst for power relates to her husband's success and not her own.
- They are both aware that their actions are corrupt and evil and it is their efforts to justify their wickedness which ultimately leads to their madness and irrational behavior. Therefore they do not unknowingly set out on a path of corruption although they are unaware that their actions will lead to their own destruction.
- You do mention that Macbeth, in order to "dominate" and maintain his crown, goes to extraordinary lengths such as killing Banquo. He does this because of his "vaulting ambition," which he himself acknowledges in Act I (vii.27) will not allow any thought that Banquo's sons may have a claim to the throne at any point.
3. The ending is powerful and perhaps consider using corruption by itself in this instance rather than lust /corruption and changing bypass to overstep.
Macbeth and Lady Macbeth certainly do cause their own downfall. From a promising and respected soldier and his supportive but overbearing wife they become a woman more in need of "divine" help and a man defeated and wracked by visions of woods as they advance on him.
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