Does the following paragraph meet an excellent standard for year 10 English? How does the theme of power relate to the play Macbeth? The theme of power and the lust for power is depicted within...

Does the following paragraph meet an excellent standard for year 10 English? How does the theme of power relate to the play Macbeth?

The theme of power and the lust for power is depicted within the text Macbeth as Shakespeare portrays the corruption of the protagonist (macbeth) and how it is associated with his lust/greed for such power of ruling and gaining/maintaining a high status in society. Macbeth and Lady Macbeth portray such a theme as they unknowingly set out on a path of their corruption/destruction as a result for their lust for power. For example, within the text Macbeth is told by lady Macbeth that if he "screws his courage to the sticking place. And we'll not fail" (act 1 scene 7). Here, we see that lady Macbeth is influencing Macbeth too commit the evil deed of murdering Duncan which is motivated by her greed for power. Lady Macbeth influences her husband to murder his own blood, Duncan in a bid to rule and become influential which later leads to the corruption of both characters. Furthermore, we see that the theme of power related to the play as characters act without moral constraints, such as Macbeth and lady Macbeth in order to maintain/gain high status within society or in this case, the throne for both characters which is fuelled by lust for power. Moreover, within act 3 scene 1, Macbeth states "who wear our health but sickly in his wife, which in his death were perfect". Within such a sentiment, we see macbeth's list for power driving him mad to an extent in which Macbeth decides to murder banquo due to making him "sick" and being a threat in his eyes. Hence, we see such a theme being portrayed within the play via Macbeth as it leads to his corruption characterised by number outs murders including banquos in which we see Macbeth doing so out of outrage and jealousy to maintain/dominate the tittle he holds. Finally, the theme of power and the lust/corruption associated with it is clearly linked to the tragedy "Macbeth" through Macbeth an lady Macbeth as they bypass boundaries and act without moral constraints to maintain such power or status which leads to their destruction.
Expert Answers
durbanville eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Your paragraph apparently exists within a wider context with presumably other themes present in Macbeth and a suitable introductory paragraph and conclusion. Your words are authoritative and persuasive and your vocabulary is good.

1. Do be aware of grammatical errors and punctuation such as those pointed out below.

  • Capitalize all the proper nouns (the names)
  • a result OF (not for)
  • ...TO commit the evil deed (not too)
  • In your sentence beginning "Furthermore..." use a full stop after "moral constraints." Rearrange the following sentence as it is incomplete. You could say something like "Macbeth and Lady Macbeth strive to ensure that Macbeth is king, a goal fueled by their lust for power which will ensure their status in the kingdom" (rather than society, perhaps). 
  • List should be lust
  • Number outs should be numerous

2. There are a few points that you should consider including or amending in your paragraph such as

  • Lady Macbeth's thirst for power relates to her husband's success and not her own.
  • They are both aware that their actions are corrupt and evil and it is their efforts to justify their wickedness which ultimately leads to their madness and irrational behavior. Therefore they do not unknowingly set out on a path of corruption although they are unaware that their actions will lead to their own destruction.
  • You do mention that Macbeth, in order to "dominate" and maintain his crown, goes to extraordinary lengths such as killing Banquo. He does this because of his "vaulting ambition," which he himself acknowledges in Act I (vii.27) will not allow any thought that Banquo's sons may have a claim to the throne at any point. 

3. The ending is powerful and perhaps consider using corruption by itself in this instance rather than lust /corruption and changing bypass to overstep.

Macbeth and Lady Macbeth certainly do cause their own downfall. From a promising and respected soldier and his supportive but overbearing wife they become a woman more in need of "divine" help and a man defeated and wracked by visions of woods as they advance on him. 

Good luck!