Paragraph editing help please? Thank you very much! Can you please help me change the following paragraph into more simpler words, sentences? So that I can have a better understanding of the paragraph. It is evident in the source that Stalin forced the dreadful famine that engulfed Ukraine. In 1932 Stalin raised the grain quotas by forty- four percent and this meant that there would be not enough grain to feed the peasants, since the soviet law required that no grain could be given to the farmer until the government’s quota was met. Stalin’s decision and methods used to implement the policy of raising quotas by forty-four resulted in deaths of millions of peasants by starvation. A war was waged against peasants who refused to give up their grain and if any man, woman, or child were caught taking even a handful of grain from a collective farm they were deported or executed without any question. During the Ukraine famine the death toll was estimated between six million and seven million.

Expert Answers

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I think that you are off to a great start with this paragraph.  I would suggest some economy of sentences and words as being helpful here.  For example, consolidating the big sentences into smaller, more powerful ones might work.  An instance of this might be a sentence like this:

In 1932 Stalin raised the grain quotas by forty- four percent and this meant that there would be not enough grain to feed the peasants, since the soviet law required that no grain could be given to the farmer until the government’s quota was met.

Why not rewrite that sentence as:  "In 1932, Stalin raised the grain quotas by 44 percent.  This meant that there would not be enough grain to feed the Ukrainian people.  Since the Soviet law required that no grain could be given to the farmer until the government quota was met, there would have been a  natural shortage."  This could be done in a few other instances in the pargraph and might contribute to a stronger sense of coherency in the writing.

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