Okay a couple is married, and there is no custody granted to either( in other words they haven't gone to a lawyer)The child lives with the mother and grandmother. They are refusing to let the...

Okay a couple is married, and there is no custody granted to either( in other words they haven't gone to a lawyer)

The child lives with the mother and grandmother. They are refusing to let the father really see the child. This weekend the father is allowed to get her for a few hours, (1st time since Feb) can he legally tell the mother that he has the right just as she to have her stay with him. The father lives on private property can he take the child there and tell the mother she cannot come on his property. Oh and there is a lot of evidence the mother is unfit, the father is just saving up money till he can pay the lawyer. What can he do in the mean time to be able to see his daughter? Since he's on marked private property can he keep the child there and tell the mother she can't come on private property. All the father wants is time with his daughter. Oh and this is the state of SOUTH CAROLINA AND THEY ARE STILL MARRIED. Please tell what the father can do untill he has the money to pay the lawyer. (He already has the lawyer and has given some evidence that she is unfit, but they can't go to court untill the full amount is paid. The lawyer said he puts his degree on the line.

Expert Answers
besure77 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Well, to begin with, two wrongs do not make a right. I do not think it would look very good in court if the mother said the father refused to hand the child over, whether it is on private property or not. 

Every father has the right to see his children. If I were the father I would talk to the attorney to see if there is anything that can be done in the meantime, or even see another attorney. It is not legal for a woman to withhold a child from the father, just as it is not legal for the father to do the same.

When two people fight over custody the only individual who really ends up getting hurt is the child. Many times parents will fight over the children just to get back at one another and that is a shame.

I posted a website below that discusses South Carolina law regarding children, fathers rights, and divorce.

dano7744 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

If one parent thinks the other is truly "unfit" then the Dep. of Fam. and Child Services should be contacted. This issue at this particular stage is not a legal problem, it is a family matter. You mentioned that the couple is still married but living apart, so at this juncture there is not a custody issue because custody of children is ruled upon by the court after a divorce proceeding. I would not recommend either parent taking the child hostage and further, the situation of "private property" really has no significance here. Bottom line, try to persuade DFCS to intervene on your behalf.

heather112409 | Student

I'm the poster again: He's had the lawyer Since January, but it seems the lawyer took his monay and done nothing else. He doesn't pay child support, she hasn't requsted any. And the reason why its been since Feb. is because he went to see his daughter and the grandfather pulled a gun on him, I witness it myself. And called the cops. Cops went to the house the grndfather said it was a drill. This family is known by the cops as bad people. And it seems they don't want to mess with them. And nothing happened to the grandfather, there was three witness' and they didn't question crap.

gisella1982 | Student

I do not know the law in SC but in PA if neither parent has been granted primary legal custody and one is keeping the child fromm the other, if the police are called, they will say "this is a matter for family court and there is nothing we can legally do about it, go to court" and even if one parent is in contempt of a court order, and the police are called the response is " file comtempt with the court". Police only get involved here if there is evidence that the child has been moved across state lines. I do not recommend that he just take the child, courts typically see that as irresponsible and frown upon it. What he can do is get CPS involved and ask that they grant him temporary custody while they look into the allegations of abuse. What troubles me here is if he has not seen his child since Feb, why he did not file sooner if he believes his child is beiong harmed, if the allegations were "founded" or even "indicated" CPS would have located the childs father immediately. If he can afford to pay even some money to a lawyer, he could have afforded in FEB to file the petition for  partial or primary custody of his child. Although many courts feel the best interest of the child is served by having the mother retain primary custody, a fathers rights to, at the very least,visitation periods with his child are never denied, unless the father is deemd unfit or unable. Most of my male friends have 50/50 custody of their children, and obtained it without a lawyer, a judge would not have told him that he is not entitled to visitation. But now if he goes in there months later pissing and moaning about how she's been keeping his child from him, ESPECIALLY knowing where she is, the judge will look down on that and further if he goes in there claiming that his child is being abused and living with an unfit parent, as a human being in general, I frown upon him having that knowledge and doing nothing. He needed to contact a youth advocate, legal aid and CPS, then his child would not be in this mess. Sounds to me like his support payments aren't to his liking and now he wants the kid. Just my opinion, I also know quite a few men on that band wagon.

heather112409 | Student

Hi I am the poster. She's the one trying to hurt the father. She is being mistreated and abused. I am at lost I don't know what to do. The little 3 year old girl is definelty getting hurt and it kills me because I don't know what to do. DSS has been involved, but you think they are doing anything no.