"I love Tris the Divergent, who makes decisions apart from faction loyalty, who isn’t some faction archetype. But the Tris who’s trying as hard as she can to destroy herself … I can’t love her." I want to scream. But not because I’m angry, because I’m afraid he’s right. My hands shake and I grab the hem of my shirt to steady them. "I believe you’re still in there," he says against my mouth. "Come back."
Tris becomes reckless in the efforts she is making against the simulations Jeanine is subjecting the factionless to. While trying to escape the Dauntless traitors, Tris has an encounter with Peter who, though he is supposed to kill her since he is one of Jeanine's security guards, allows Tris to escape rather than allowing her to be subjected to Jeanine's new simulation serum or allowing her to die. In the recklessness of her life, Tobias warns Tris, in the quotation above, that she is losing her true identity, that she is succumbing to the control and influence of the battle that is being waged amongst the factions for control, not of political territory exclusively, but minds, hearts and souls. When Tris defeats the simulations and fears that blind and control her and turn her from her real self, then Tobias can tell Tris that he always recognized that she was still her true self but that her actions, renewed with the personal integrity of her Divergent qualities, had to demonstrate her inner truth and integrity so that he could be "reminded"--or have it confirmed--that she was in control of herself and not manipulated by external simulattions of truth and reality.