I need to write a report on illegal immigrants and health care. This is what I have so far. I need a thesis for this report too. Thanks.
Illegal immigrants have serious hidden medical consequences. We judge reality primarily by what we see. But what we do not see can be more dangerous, more expensive ,and more deadly than what is seen. Illegal immigrants stealthy assaults on medicine now mustrouse Americans to alert and alarm. Strong physical laborers who work hard in undesirable jobs with low wages, who care for their families, and who wants to pursue the American dream.
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OK, we could use a little more information, such as what type of essay this is, and what question or prompt you are being asked. If I assume this is a persuasive essay either for or against illegal immigration or immigration reform, or immigration's affect on the health care system, I have a few suggestions, in parentheses and bold face below:
Illegal immigrants have serious hidden medical consequences. (Here I might choose a different phrase than hidden medical consequences. To be clearer, you might say something like "illegal immigrants need medical care and services that are often expensive to the insured and the taxpayer")
We judge reality primarily by what we see. But what we do not see can be more dangerous, more expensive ,and more deadly than what is seen. (I would leave this out, or make it much more specific. You're trying to convince the reader that something invisible, which I assume means illegal immigrants, are deadly, dangerous and expensive. Deadly and dangerous is going to be hard to prove without using logical fallacies)
Illegal immigrants stealthy assaults on medicine now must rouse Americans to alert and alarm. (This line implies two things: one, that illegal immigrants are obtaining medical care and no one knows it (stealthy assaults), which is untrue, and that it is part of a conspiracy on their part, which is at best, hard to prove. "Must rouse Americans to alert and alarm" is what we call an incendiary phrase, that is, it is intended to get people angry or afraid, and this is not the best argumentative or persuasive technique)
Strong physical laborers who work hard in undesirable jobs with low wages, who care for their families, and who wants to pursue the American dream. (A fragment, so needs to be a complete sentence, but also not sure how this is connected to the other parts of the essay you want to prove)
Please remember that these are just suggestions on my part. If you revise your question, or send me a message about your prompt, I can help you more directly with your thesis.
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