I need help writing a narrative poem. My poem needs to include: -2 examples of imagery -2 examples of alliteration -2 similes -1 metaphor    So far, this is my poem: My Guardian “It’s been...

I need help writing a narrative poem. My poem needs to include:

-2 examples of imagery

-2 examples of alliteration

-2 similes

-1 metaphor

 

 

So far, this is my poem:

My Guardian

“It’s been far too long.”
My mind repeats
“It’s been far too long.”
Bouncing back and forth between
Should I stay or should I go
How to decide between
Duty and heart
Leaving could pose danger
But is it worth it to save her?
Then again, what can I do?
I'm dependant on him just like a new born baby is with their mom

She is the one that guards me

She will be back to protect me

She will be back

 

But what if she’s not

I have to go

I have to bring her back

 

I leave to save my guardian

The irony is killing me

As is the oncoming danger ahead.

I am about to fall

It’s coming to an end

Then my guardian comes to my rescue

She sweeps me out of danger’s reach

 

I was the one who needed saving.

 

I was wondering if my poem already contains any of these and if so, can you point it out ? If not, can you help me figure out something to put in my poem that fits well ?

 

Asked on by flaawless

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mwestwood | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

First of all, remember that a narrative poem is one that tells a story. And, while there may be elements of narrative in the poem you have posted, it seems to be rather more a confessional than a narrative poem. So, it is in your best interests to take a different approach to your poem. 

One approach that you could employ is to compose a setting in which there is the usual development of a story with a distinct beginning to the action, a middle, and an end.  Certainly, you can still use this section of your poem:

I leave to save my guardian

The irony [explain in the first part what this irony is] is killing me

As is the oncoming danger ahead.

I am about to fall

It’s [what is it?] coming to an end

But, oh! my guardian comes to my rescue,

Sweeping me sweetly [alliteration] out of deadly danger’s [alliteration] grasp

Since this section should work as the ending of your poem, perhaps, then, you can construct a beginning and middle that are appropriate to it.  Writing about who the loved one is and how and where she has become "a guardian" (metaphor) seems appropriate. The middle of your poem will detail whatever the problem or crisis was that precipitates your leaving. Just remember that you are relating events that happened more than telling of internal conflicts.

Poetry begs for fresh, innovative language, so be careful to not use trite expressions and phrases.  The use of imagery--sensory language--often makes words vivid and meaningful. For instance, as you describe in the beginning how you meet your "guardian" use nature imagery, sound imagery, colors (sight imagery), etc.  Also, create unusual comparisons between unlike things/people by the use of similes and metaphors.  A simile uses the words like or as:

the whisper of the wind is like the coo of the dove [simile]

the dove whistle of the wings of the wind [metaphor]

As you compose try to be creative, and do not be afraid to return to your verse and rewrite, rewrite, rewrite until you have something fresh and original. Good luck!

(Two of the links below provide you with narrative poems that you may want to read as examples of this genre)

 

 

Sources:

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