I need help wording out my thesis regarding Immigrants helping America cultivate it's culture and economy.I tried writing: "For hundreds of years, America has borrowed from every immigrant their...

I need help wording out my thesis regarding Immigrants helping America cultivate it's culture and economy.

I tried writing: "For hundreds of years, America has borrowed from every immigrant their culture and became an ongoing blend of immigrants. That is why, in contrary, America does need immigrants since they help America cultivate their cultural and economic aspect."

Asked on by djmeeh757

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litteacher8's profile pic

litteacher8 | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

Tighten it up a little. Your thesis should be succinct. You are not going to prove everything in the thesis. You'll support it in the rest of the essay. I'd start with: Immigrants help American cultivate its (no apostrophe) culture and economy.
pohnpei397's profile pic

pohnpei397 | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

I have a number of comments.

First, you say that immigrants help America's culture and its economy.  However, in your thesis, you say nothing about how immigrants might help the economy.  You only talk about culture.  So I think that you need to have something in there about the economy.  Maybe you could talk about how immigrants have provided highly motivated workers that have helped America get ahead.

Second, looking at this sentence:

For hundreds of years, America has borrowed from every immigrant their culture and became an ongoing blend of immigrants

You don't want the word "their" in there.  Also, "has borrowed" and "became" don't agree with one another.  So you might want this sentence to say "For hundreds of years, America has borrowed from the culture of every group of immigrants and has become a blend of those cultures."

Third, looking at the next sentence:

That is why, in contrary, America does need immigrants since they help America cultivate their cultural and economic aspect."

"In contrary" is not a correct usage.  You might want to say "in contrast" or "to the contrary."  But that means you have to have something before this that says that immigrants are bad.  If you say "to the contrary," it means you're contradicting something that has been said before.

Finally, "America" doesn't agree with "their."  So you might say "...America cultivate its cultural and economic aspects."

If you say this, please remember that you must say something about how immigrants have helped in terms of economics.

Good luck!


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