Marriage and College GraduatesDo you believe that college grads are happier married and if so why?
If you are asking if married college grads are happier than single college grads, my answer would be no, I don't think so.
But I think you are asking if married college grads are happier than a couple with only a High School or less than a High school education, then I would say yes the college grads may be happier, if only for financial reasons. And finances are just about everything in a marriage to be honest. It is very difficult for your marriage to function properly and for you to grow, prosper, and thrive as a couple if you have devastating financial circumstances. I do believe that financial discord is listed as the primary reason for divorce.
When your finances are in order, this takes a lot of stress off of you as couple. Marriage is already stressful enough without having to scrape up pennies for childcare, transportation, insurance, health care, putting food on the table, having a place to live etc. The couple really needs to be on the same wavelength financially.
A couple with stronger finances also have better access to many resources that can give them an overall better life.
Speaking personally, my husband and I are both college graduates, with me having even studied on the doctoral level. I have a graduate degree. However, we have still run into major health problems (for me), company downsizing and job losses (my husband), and just pure tough luck which has led to extreme financial devastation for us, despite our talents and degrees.
However, the difference in having a degree and certification means that we have more hope and more opportunities for a better life for ourselves. Knowing that we will not be struggling forever, and that our breakthrough is coming because we have the education for it, gives us hope for the future and it keeps our marriage alive and very strong.
Here's my two cents' worth:
1. I do believe married college grads are happier if they've chosen well. When one marries a person he/she likes as well as loves, who has similar interests, education, economic background, religious and politica beliefs, and similar philosophies on child-rearing, they will be very happy together. Facing life as a team rather than a lone rider is much more secure, enjoyable, and fun. Gone are the insecurities of "Will he call?" or "How many partners has she had?" Gone are all the walls and false facades--the being someone you're not to impress someone you hope might be the one. Gone are the jealousies of past relationships and the anxieties of what to wear, how to act, and what to say. If you've chosen well, you probably also have similar friends or maybe even the same friends, so going out doesn't have to end. Marriage to a best friend gives a security and comfort that can make you skip all the way home.
2. Drug is any substance not normal or indigenous to your system which causes a certain reaction--it may or may not be addictive. Drug abuse is when a person or persons uses a drug for reasons other than the medicinal purpose for which they were produced. Drug addiction is when a person is under the influence of a substance and the psychological urge to continue using the drug is overwhelming. In this case, the addict may need help from medical professionals to break the cycle of addiction.
There are several reasons why college graduates have happier marriages.
- They are usually older when they marry. This fact implies that they have dated more people and met more people so they understand others and themselves better. Also, they do not feel as though they have "missed out" on the fun of having been single as many who marry young do.
- Another reason that college grads may fare better in their marriages is that they had decent jobs before they were married, so they can afford to live as a couple. Indeed, financial problems can kill a marriage.
- College grads have more interests, more knowlege, more experiences which help to make them more interesting people to live with. Usually they have developed a personality that is more secure and less judgmental. They have most likely also developed a sense of humor, and are reasonable.
- College grads often come from stable home environments where parents who have fostered their development, so they have fewer insecurities, bad habits, etc.
- College grads usually marry less on physical attraction that do those with less education. They understand that having personalities that complement one another is an important factor in a successful marriage.
Did you read the study that was done fairly recently that shows that college graduates do have stronger and happier marriages than people with less education? It was very interesting -- here's the link
Anyway, the study did find that the educated are happier in their marriages. One speculation was that the moderately educated have more stress now than they used to. They want more than they can get both economically and in terms of having a "perfect" relationship. The study says that the growing wealth around them makes them want more of that and it argues that the idea of finding your "soul mate" has taken over and has given people higher expectations for their marriages than they used to have.
The idea, then, is that college grads are more likely to be making good money and to, therefore, not have the economic stress, at least.
Anyway, read the study... it's fascinating.
I agree with #10 in that people who have made a commitment towards themselves to become career-oriented may be more prone to do the same in terms of committing themselves emotionally to someone else. Once you fulfill your personal goals (of which college is often a popular goal), you are able to connect more with yourself, and your needs. Once that occurs you may feel more prepared to share your successes with someone equally prepared. As long as one chooses well, and one fulfills their true calling, life changes will be less dramatic and more enjoyable.
I agree with #3 in stating that it is not marriage in itself that will make you happier. Rather, it is having the right partner. You need someone that you can share and build your future life with and someone who shares similar viewpoints, values and beliefs. If you do not have enough similarities, you will find that being married is more of a stress than a blessing. However, at the same time, I think you need to have enough of a separate life to go with that similarity to make sure you don't see too much of each other, if that makes sense.
These should be two different discussions. For your first post, I would say that it really depends on the circumstances of when they were married. If the people waited until after college to marry, they likely don't have regrets or feel that they sacrificed. They also probably have better jobs and no children yet. Since they have graduated, there will not be a longing for what-could-have-been. All in all, it depends on the individuals.
The statistics about college graduates having happier marriages might have something to do with them having more fulfilling/engaging careers and/or a more stable financial situation than those who get married after high school. Also, people who go to college tend to get married after college, meaning that they wait until they are more mature/in their 20's rather than getting married extremely early in adulthood.
I would suggest that college grads might have happier marriages (based on opinion and anecdotal evidence in this case) because they have had a chance to learn a bit more about themselves as well as (often) the opportunity to learn to live with a roommate, something that actually is probably more important than people think when it comes to having a successful marriage.