I'd like comments on the thesis statement/ opening paragraph of my Macbeth essay (pasted below).
Amongst men, Macbeth embodied “the unequivocal hero”; however, in his compulsion to display the consummate masculine power by rapaciously achieving the throne of Scotland, he is ultimately dismantled by the hysteria and paranoia conceived in his mind through the uncanny power of female suggestion.
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The language and tone of the paragraph are quite sophisticated, showing a good familiarity with recent critical vocabulary and analytical frameworks. The major concern here is to make sure that this does not degenerate into mere name and concept dropping and has a definite thesis.
One way to focus your general conceptual frame into an actual thesis that can be argued is to look through the MLA International Bibliography (available online through electronic resources of most university libraries) and look at existing gender criticism on the topic. In what ways are you adding to the existing conversation? Is there some specific point where you disagree with existing scholarship? Or some passage that has not been analyzed from this perspective? Or is your focus simply summary of existing criticism?
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