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There are a number of possible rules for “fighting fair.” Some of the most important include:
- Give your partner the information they need. Do not expect your spouse to figure out why you are mad.
- Fight about the real issues. Fights often occur over seemingly trivial issues when there are other, deeper problems that are actually causing the fights. Address the root causes.
- Do not bring up other fights or other shortcomings during a given fight. In other words, if you are talking about one issue, do not suddenly bring in another issue out of the blue.
- Do not call your partner names.
- Discuss the issues rather than simply attacking your partner.
1. Keep to the subject at hand. Fight to actually accomplish something, not just fight.
2. No name calling.
4. Use "I" statements rather than accusatory statements. For example, "I feel angry when x happens" as opposed to "You make me so angry when x happens."
5. Keep a time limit. Do not let things drag out.
6. Keep in private (not in front of children or in public).
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