You finish your writing with the very observation that should be the thesis driving your review--"Tom had a sincere and a kind-hearted nature, which in the end, cost him his life." Then you should proceed to write a review that proves this assertion. You use the word audacious which means...
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You finish your writing with the very observation that should be the thesis driving your review--"Tom had a sincere and a kind-hearted nature, which in the end, cost him his life." Then you should proceed to write a review that proves this assertion. You use the word audacious which means "recklessly bold," and while his actions and confession were reckless, bold would not really fit with your assertion about being kind-hearted. Also, your use of the word prohibition doesn't fit here either.
You use a quote, that could be incorporated quite nicely with the thesis, but you haven't used it effectively. In what other actions does Tom engage that shows his kind-hearted but naive nature. You've also expressed a lot of opinion, but your haven't really used specific facts and details to support your opinion.