I just got seperated from my mom How and what can I do to help with the stress?

Expert Answers
lfawley eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I agree with the advice that you have already been given, and I want to emphasize that it is CRITICAL that you communicate. If you are still in a place where you can speak to your Mom, do so regularly. Speak with your Dad as well. But do so without placing blame. It is OK to feel angry or hurt about the situation, but realize that it is likely not YOUR fault that the situation exists. If you were separated because your parents separated, realize that they were doing what was best for them, and while it may hurt you now. it has nothing to DO with you, really. If you can keep things in perspective, it will make it MUCH easier foe you to communicate openly and honestly. When you do speak with your parents about the situation, be careful of your phrasing - saying "I am feeling hurt" is MUCH better than saying "You hurt me" for it focuses attention on how you are feeling without starting a blame game.

Aside from your parents, do keep open lines of communication with teachers, friends you trust, and even the guidance counselor at your school. Also, WRITE!! When you feel the most stressed, instead of blowing up at someone, write about it. Then, put it away for 24hrs and come back and reread what you wrote. Sometimes, that distance alone is enough to help you put it all into a better perspective.


Best wishes!

Ashley Kannan eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Normally, I don't answer these types of questions.  I just don't feel that there is anything I can say to help with such a painful condition.  In this instance, I can tell you that while it seems like you will not be able to endure this challenge, I believe that people can persevere through such harrowing conditions in order to triumph over them.  William Faulkner came up with that idea and I think that it might help you in this setting.  Ensuring that you have a really strong and stable support network will be critical.  As previously mentioned, being able to speak to others who are close to you in this time will be good.  If you cannot speak to your mom, being able to write letters to her, expressing how you feel, how you feel about her, and how you think this trying situation will impact you later on in life will be critical for you.  I think being able to express these thoughts, and not repress them will be essential.  I think that being able to tell your teachers at school might also be good.  I only suggest this because the more comfortable you are with being able to appropriate the situation through talking about it with others might be able to allow you to assert some level of control in a situation that does not have a great deal of it for you.  I wish you nothing but the best.

besure77 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I can imagine that this is a very stressful situation.

The first thing I would suggest that you do is learn to relax. This can be done by learning certain breathing exercises and engaging in activities that relax you, such as reading a book, exercising or listening to music.

Something else you can do is treat your body good. This can be done by eating well balanced meals and getting lots of exercise and plenty of sleep.

In addition, try to keep your mind optimistic. If you find that your thoughts are getting you down, then start thinking about more positive things.

And most importantly, don't forget that you have a support system. There are teachers, guidance counselors, and even help lines you can always contact if you need to .

dw1994 | Student

stay calm trust me it eavens out

mault | Student

I am very sorry to hear about your situation. I know from personal experience this is a very stressful situation to be in. I was young when I had to deal with this myself, but I'm sure you are feeling similar to how I did at the time.

A few things you can do to relieve some of your stress:
1. Keep your friends very close. It's always better when you have someone by your side to cheer you up. Nothing is going to change the situation, but it will definitely help to have someone with you making you smile occasionally.

2. Communication with parents. If at all possible (depending on your situation), keep in contact with your mom. This will help you stay connected, but also quite possibly help your mom with whatever issue she is going through at the current time.

3. Talk to someone. A guidance counselor at your school or a teacher who is able to listen to how your feel. You need to get out your feelings, emotions, thoughts, and probably anger. You can't keep these things inside; you need to let them out and have someone who will listen.

Most importantly, remember to stay positive. Of course it's going to be tough to do this, but a positive attitude goes a long way in tough times.

I hope everything works out for you!