Jokes and Riddles! Have you got any jokes that you'd like to share; that will make people laugh and fall off their chair! Whether they be lame or old; I bet you that they're pure gold! So share them, share them right here And put a smile on a face with a cheer! _ As this... 'Intriguing' poem I've just written on the spot (in about one and a half minutes) illustrates, have you got any good riddles or jokes to share with the eNotes community that you think is funny? For example; Q: What's a monkey's favourite time of the year? A: APE-ril.   Another one; Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator!   Your turn! :) _

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Funny!  My favorite riddles are from The Hobbit.  Biblo and Gollum have a riddle war, which Blibo wins by tricking Gollum with the riddle "what's in my pocket" answer: the ring!

There is this one:

Alive without breath,As cold as death; Never thirsty, ever drinking, All in mail never...

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Funny!  My favorite riddles are from The Hobbit.  Biblo and Gollum have a riddle war, which Blibo wins by tricking Gollum with the riddle "what's in my pocket" answer: the ring!

There is this one:

Alive without breath,
As cold as death;
Never thirsty, ever drinking,
All in mail never clinking

That is a fish!

And this one:

It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,
Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt.
It lies behind stars and under hills,
And empty holes it fills.
It comes first and follows after,
Ends life, kills laughter.

Dark

Riddles play a large role in mythology, and in books that make allusions to myths.  For example, there are riddles in several of the Harry Potter boks.


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Here's a riddle:

A coin rests at the bottom of a glass bottle.  A cork covers the opening of the bottle.  Without removing the cork from the bottle and without breaking the glass, how can we retrieve the coin?

Answer: Push the cork through the opening, tilt the bottle, and retrieve the coin.

 

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Here is one that my son told me; it is a riddle. I thought it was pretty clever.

What is black and white and red all over? The answer is a newspaper. Newspapers are typically black and white and people read them. Sorry if you find this one a bit corny. Good luck.

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I admit to falling in love with that interupting cow joke once and apparently the love is still alive. Thank you accessteacher for reminding me.

Here's a simple riddle. Maybe you've heard it before:

I've got two coins that add up to thirty cents and one of them is not a nickel.

How is this possible?

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I was stupid enough to introduce my kids to the interrupting cow joke from Post 3.  So I deserve the periodic outbreaks of various interrupting animal knock-knock jokes.

In Hawaii, a certain ethnic group is the butt of many jokes.  The jokes are like the blonde joke in Post 2.  A dated one is "How do you know that a (member of ethnic group) has been using the computer?  Because there's white out on the screen."  Or "Why did the .... have to break his car window?  Because he locked his family inside."

Lots of humor in Hawaii is ethnic.  Since I'm Filipino I can use this one, based on the idea that Filipinos are/were known for eating dog: "What do you call a Filipino walking a dog?  A vegetarian.  What do you call a Filipino walking 100 dogs?  A rancher."

All sidesplitting I'm sure.

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I concur with #2 that jokes are something that I find harder and harder to remember, but, as with all things, some of the golden oldies are actually the best ones. My son recently reminded me of an excellent joke:

Knock knock.

Who's th(MOOOOO)ere?

The interrupting cow.

The person telling the joke interrupts the person saying "Who's there" with the "Mooooo," in case that isn't clear enough. :-) If you thought that was good, wait until you hear the other 65 different versions with different animals that my kids made up.

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I've found that the older I get (not that I'm ancient), the harder it is for me to remember jokes, although I have always loved jokes -- the cornier, the better.  I wonder if anyone has any thoughts about why we tend to find it harder to remember jokes as we age. Many, many people have told me that this is the case.

Here's the only (appropriate) joke I can remember at the moment:

Three blondes walked into a bar; you'd think at least one of them would have noticed!

Here's another that just popped into my head:

A blonde was driving down a busy highway, knitting.  Alarmed by this behavior, a police officer pulled up next to her and shouted, "PULL OVER!  PULL OVER!" She yelled back, "no, it's a scarf! It's a scarf!"

As a blonde myself, I hope I can get away with telling these jokes. :-)

 

 

 

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