I've been working on this essay for almost a week, and I cannot yet seem to find a suitable thesis statement.This is my current thesis statement. As the story continues, Brother tries to fix the...

I've been working on this essay for almost a week, and I cannot yet seem to find a suitable thesis statement.

This is my current thesis statement.

As the story continues, Brother tries to fix the irreperable hole in his heart caused by his unbending pride.

I'm not too sure what to make of this; it just seems far too general. The prompt is not the usual 'explain symbolism'; instead, it is to analyze Brother's motives/reasons for his actions toward Doodle, and to discuss how these actions affect Doodle and himself. This is the only part where I've encountered any trouble, and any help would be appreciated. :)

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Top Answer

lorrainecaplan's profile pic

Lorraine Caplan | College Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

I think you are off to a good start here, with a statement that tells the reader what you are going to establish in your paper.  What you need to now is add to the assertion with a preview of your means of support.  How do you support your thesis?  Can you "list" the ways you do so? A thesis statement needs a "because" part to it, which acts as an outline for you and for the reader.

Let me give you an example.  Suppose I were writing a paper on The Kite Runner, a book you may have read. My thesis might be that Amir's redemption is a journey of steps, the healing of his relationship with his father, his courage in courting Soraya, his decision to return to Afghanistan, his facing his nemesis, Assef, and his returning with Sohrab.  So, now I have told my reader that Amir redeems himself, but I also have a kind of "because" section, letting the reader know I am going to support my thesis by showing how each of these steps leads to his redemption.  To structure my body paragraphs for this analysis, I will write a paragraph on each of those points, and then I will add a conclusion as a separate paragraph.

So, what are the points you make to show how Brother tries to fix the "irreparable hole"?  Can each point be summarized in a word or a phrase?  Those are the words or phrases that need to be part of your thesis statement.

brennaytraggah's profile pic

brennaytraggah | Student, Undergraduate | eNotes Newbie

Posted on

How about, "Due to Brother's tragic flaw, his pride, he continues to repare the manifesting burden that is prominent in his character throughout the course of the story."

But remember either to apply this to society as a whole or yourself depending on the type of essay you are writing. Sometimes making a thesis more complex or a little zestier is all it takes. :)

Best of luck.

ebojoy's profile pic

ebojoy | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Honors

Posted on

Hello.

Your thesis statement is right under your nose, my friend.  It can be found within your statement, "...analyze Brother's motives/reasons for his actions toward Doodle, and to discuss how these actions affect Doodle and himself."  Determine Brother's motive.  Decide what you believe it to be, and write it as an absolute statement.  The rest of your paper should include supporting reasons and evidence as to why you have made your assertion.  Remember, there are no right or wrong thesis statements/author assertions; there are, however, requirements to demonstrate &/or prove one's assertions.

I hope this is helpful.

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